Beyonce and Brady -- Will it be about the Lady?

With this weekends completion of the pathetic NFL exhibition season, Week 1 of the real season will be upon us. There isn't a better way to kick it off then with a rematch of last year's AFC Championship game. However, the scene planned for before the contest may be one that rivals the game itself. Not only are there the normal stadium opening festivities, but also the raising of the World Championship flag from last years Super Bowl victory. Now for the big news: Live performances by Destiny's Child with Beyonce, Elton John, Lenny Kravitz, Mary J. Blige and Toby Keith. Jessica Simpson also will be performing from Jacksonville via satellite. The fans in Foxboro, Massachusetts will be treated to this wonderful pre-game happening live, and it also will be broadcast on TV as part of ABC's "NFL Opening Kickoff" show from 8-9 p.m. (eastern time). That sure is the way to inaugurate NFL Primetime for 2004. There is just one concern -- football. How can the players keep their focus on the pigskin with that star-studded lineup on the sidelines during warm-ups? Will they be able to remember the playbook after just being overwhelmed by the musical theatrics, fireworks, fly-bys, and whatever other surprises there are? The Patriots are used to major hoopla from recent Super Bowls, but I don't think they were watching at halftime last year. Obviously, THAT would have been a distraction of epic proportions. On your home turf it's a horse of a different color. The $60,000 question is (and the answer is not hamana-hamana-hamana, Ed Norton) -- Will Tom Brady fall under the Beyonce spell?

The possibility of a romance between one of the world's most beautiful, talented women, and the NFL's two time Super Bowl MVP is extremely intriguing. We had a little taste of it several years back when running back Curtis Martin was dating Toni Braxton. It didn't work long term for Toni and Curtis as Martins moves were only first rate on the gridiron. Tom Terrific (apologies to Hall of Fame pitcher George Thomas Seaver) is in a whole other league. His appeal to the women of New England is now legendary. There isn't a female high school locker or college dorm room in the Bay State that doesn't don a picture of the 27 year old millionaire bachelor. Even the sophisticated divas are lining up. Recent acquaintances have been actresses Tara Reid and current honey Bridget Moynahan. Earlier there was Mariah Carey and anyone at the Playboy Mansion.

Would Beyonce herself be interested? Only she could answer that question as their paths are sure to cross in the tunnels under the stadium when the gala affair unfolds. After this choice rendezvous do you think Brady will be able recollect any of offensive coordinator Charlie Weis' game day instructions, or will the X's and O's turn into dreams of hugs and kisses? Will Beyonce be able to remember the lyrics to Naughty Girls and Crazy in Love or belt out a hip-hop version of the Michigan fight song? Can she captivate the audience while dreaming of adding to her exquisite jewelry collection with a keepsake chain that features two Super Bowl rings?

As far as the game itself goes the Patriots will score first and go back and forth with the Colts for three quarters. Eventually, Peyton Manning will make several mistakes once again after being forced out of the pocket and having to throw on the run. When on the move the older Manning is nowhere near as accurate as when both feet are planted. This will lead to Patriot interceptions, a crowd pleasing victory for New England, and possibly a new celebrity courtship for the pages of People magazine and the gossip columns of our nations scribes.

Comments? E-mail me at: jpsqwe@comcast.net