Best Case Scenario for Spanish Smokers

Tired of staring death in the face, Spanish smokers have come up with a novel way of eradicating the doomsday health messages that from today must appear on every cigarette packet in the European Union.

For while their cigarette packets now tell them in large letters that smoking may "damage sperm and reduce fertility", or "reduce blood flow and cause impotence", Spain's rebellious smokers have rediscovered the old-fashioned cigarette case.

The cases are on sale at the same government-licensed tobacco shops, the estancos, through which every Spanish cigarette packet must pass, and feature flowers, ducks, love-hearts or cannabis leaves.

"You just put your packet of Fortuna or Ducados into it and the health warning simply disappears," Marisol Sanchez, an assistant at a Madrid tobacco shop, explained.

The packets are advertised in a brochure sent to the shops by the same distribution company that brings them the tobacco.

More inventive smokers have found an even cheekier way of obliterating what have already been dubbed esquelas, or death notices, because the bold, black print is the same as that used in the death notices section of daily newspapers.

They are making cigarette cases that look like ordinary Marlboro, Camel or Ducados packets, but which, instead of a health warning, carry cheery messages such as "Let's share a smoke", or "How about a fag and a drink?"

One tobacco merchant, Miguel Garcia, has started handing out stickers for his clients to cover up the offending messages. "Living is fatal", jokes one sticker. "Driving may endanger your health", warns another.

"If it is really that bad, then they should just ban tobacco. They do that with other things," said Elena Fernandez-Arias, a Camel smoker. She added: "But I guess they still want the tax."