Time to set some new rules in the world of sports

Whether it be an athlete arrested, labor disputes or just plain stupid people running organizations that they aren't fit to scrub the floors of, sports somehow lost one of the most important things that it should provide to people: an element of fun.
Sure, going to a baseball game or a college football game is fun. At most places, it also means giving up your entire paycheck. The game isn't the thing anymore in sports. The question is how to change things around.
With that in mind, an abbreviated list of things that are wrong in sports and what should be done. I'll call it constructive criticism, mainly because Dennis Miller has already perfected the art of ranting.

• First off, this is for all sports: No agents. Negotiate your own contract. If you're unhappy with it, you think you're underpaid, you're to blame. If you feel you get taken advantage of, get smarter.
• No public funding for any sport stadiums. If an owner wants a new place, he has to pay up. New York City's Rudy Guiliani is spending over $100 million for two minor league stadiums. Just think what that could do when applied to NYC schools. And if George Steinbrenner can't afford more than a coat of paint on Yankee Stadium, that's all it'll get.
Need evidence? The San Francisco Giants' Pac Bell Park, built entirely with private funds and bank loans. The team has a mortgage due for the next 20 years, but won't have to worry about finding the revenues for it since the place sells out every night. Not only is the mortgage getting taking care of, the payroll could be increased if need be and the positive reaction from players will help when courting free agents.
• Technology today means that grass can grow indoors, so outlaw artificial turf. Players hate it, fans don't like it. Don't buy the "speed advantage" stuff, either. If a player is faster than someone else on turf, they will be on grass. Simple physics.
• At least 20 percent of the stadium's total capacity will be seats at no more than $10 apiece. And we're not talking nosebleed section, either. It's ridiculous that middle class New York Knicks fans have to mortgage their life away for Madison Square Garden tickets. This is across the board for all sports, professional and college as well.
• When it comes to fining athletes, up the ante. Shaquille O'Neal gets fined, what, $5,000 if he skips an interview session? O'Neal's making that nearly every minute he steps on the court. Pump up the cost, then maybe the rules will stop being broken.
• At college sports, students get in free. Kids and parents already pay thousands to the school in tuition and other fees. They don't need to pay anymore. Don't buy the "we need the revenue" argument either. If colleges lose revenue, get it back by entering into partnerships with local community businesses. The kids pay enough.
• When an athlete says "it's not about the money," the next game they play, the money they would make goes to charity. If you say it, back it up.
• Instead of expanding, disband. For example, baseball: take Montreal, Florida, Tampa Bay and admit you made a mistake, it won't happen again, and disband them. Take the players into a dispersal draft. If fans complain, they should have been more supportive.
• Then again, this rule can be used in tandem: it's not small-market, it's lack of marketing. Now, I've been following the Oakland A's this year. They're a fun team to watch. Apparently, not too many people in Oakland think so because nobody shows up to games. That's not because Oakland is a small market; there are approximately 2.3 million people in the city alone. The capacity of the A's stadium is 43,012. To fill it, just two percent of the people that live in Oakland would need to go to the game. They can't find people to go to a baseball game? If you can't get people to go to a sporting event, it's the organization's fault, not the city's fault.
• This one is geared towards tennis, but could be applied to any sport on the pro level: If you're a parent, you're not the coach. On Tuesday, rising pro Jelena Dokic's dad continued his streak of getting thrown out of Grand Slams, being barred from the U.S. Open in addition to his Wimbledon ban. The women's tennis tour is isolated by nature, being an individual sport. Players, especially young ones like Dokic, need their parents to be parents. Not coaches. And definitely not tabloid fodder, like Dokic's has been lately. One of the most well-rounded, well-spoken players on the women's tour is Lindsay Davenport. Her parents let her go on the tour by herself, have an independent coach and don't travel with her to every event. It's more than irony that Davenport didn't have her parents cramp her style and yet is well-respected by players. It's direct cause-and-effect.
• The No. 1 thing: Respect the fan. They're the ones who pay the money. Without fans, professional sports would be nothing but a vast wasteland. Players need to let fans know they're support and money is appreciated. A smile, a wave. Signing an extra autograph. Most athletes are aloof and ungracious. If things would change, sports would be more fun that before.
And isn't that the point?