The miracle fish

September 23, 2004

Today we went to Windgarth after Mariette came home from work. We quickly ate bread and cheese for dinner, not wanting to miss the day’s remaining light. Afterwards, I worked in the gardens and Mariette took a brief walk. It was a beautiful evening, warm and soft with a quiet haze over a still, clear lake.

Twilight came and lingered and Mariette returned from her walk and went down to the dock. She said something prompted her to sit at the end of the dock, and as she gazed at the water an inner voice said:" I wonder what the lake will bring me tonight". Shortly after, a huge fish came swimming by, its gills waving under the water ... She later said she had no idea where that question came from, she had never before asked that question.

I went to the dock to join her, and the moon was cut in half, throwing a short band of light at our feet - and further out, like a glimpse into another, more gentle realm, was a spot of soft, dancing light. We marveled at the beauty around us and suddenly there was a splash to our right. We both turned to look and then a huge fish, arched and vibrant and soundless jumped out of the water, as though playing or in celebration. Larry was still sitting on his dock and he called out: "Did you see that!", for it is rare to see a fish jump that high...

Perhaps nothing of this was so extraordinary. However, for the first time since my car accident, for the first time in thirteen years - I turned in the direction of the sound of the magical fish. In our canoe rides at dusk, many fish have partly jumped from the water and I have always missed them - because I have always looked in the opposite direction. In fact, since my accident I have not been able to tell where sounds come from. The doctors think this might be why I often jump at sounds and also why I lose my balance walking - my sonar was damaged in the accident.

So tonight, for the first time in thirteen years, I heard a splash and could immediately identify its location. I heard a cricket and could locate him. A duck called from across the lake and I knew where she was, I knew where the voices of our neighbors were coming from. I knew where I was in space, I was again at the center of my world spatially.

For a musician not to know where sounds are coming from - is agony. Tonight, my entire small world changed in an instant, and a gentle fish was the harbinger. Fish I have so often inwardly taught to pray, and who I have prayed for and sent protection to.

I hope I have in some way conveyed the magic of those moments and the gratitude I feel for such a miraculous Healing. In spite of the state of the world, our private struggles and cares, the beheadings in Iraq, the wars that exist, the crime and the horrors here on earth - also exists the unearthly beauty of the Divine. And this mysterious Divinity works in equal or greater measure than the pain and injustice we experience on this earth. Those were my thoughts on the ride home ... May they always be my thoughts - and may they be yours as well.