General: Sterno's Talkin' Smack -- Episode #55

Sterno's Talkin' Smack. No holding back here. It's all trash, all the time.

Welcome to another wacky and crazy edition of the Wednesday extravaganza. Today, we will talk about the state of the Oakland Raiders, more stupidity with Maurice Clarett, and a look at the ticket prices at a certain NHL venue.

Smack This: Oakland Raiders -- Break out the canes. No, not the ones down in Miami. The ones that help the old folks get around when they can no longer walk under their own power. Oakland needs you. The Raiders have dropped off the face of the playoff earth, quicker than that ball in Times Square on New Year's Eve.

The question is how? We talked yesterday about their lack of discipline. We know all about that. However, that isn't the reason that they can't seem to get in the end zone. Think about it, folks. This team run by Al Davis has never really had any discipline and they have always found ways to be competitive. At least until now, that is.

This past Monday night, we witnessed a changing of the guard. Out with the old and in with the new. While Jake "The Snake," Plummer was leading the Broncos up and down the field like clockwork, the Raiders who are led by the normally close to perfect Rich Gannon, were just walking on and off the field with their heads down.

Three and out, three and out, and another three and out. That was all they had. Gannon looks ridiculously old, Charlie Garner can't seem to get going, and those two Hall of Fame wide receivers are one step closer to hanging it up. It's really pathetic to watch. Especially for me, because I picked them to have a good shot to get back to the Super Bowl and they probably won't even finish at .500 the way it looks right now. At least that's as of now.

I wouldn't be surprised if they get their acts together. There are just too, too many solid veterans on that team for it to go in the tank this early in the year. Don't be shocked if they turn it around, but if they don't, you'll hear from me again.

Oakland Raiders -- Smacked!!!

Smack This: Maurice Clarett -- I don't know what makes my stomach turn faster. Is it the Ben and Jen saga or the one with Maurice Clarett? Man, I am sick of this crap. When is this guy going to learn? For what I wish would be the last time, but unfortunately will not be, here we go again!

Maurice, can you do yourself a favor? Go back to school. You step on the field for Ohio State or any other team in the country next season, and you are in the Heisman Trophy race. Get a clue my friend. Your money is coming to you. Try cleaning up your image by going back to school and showing the top dog management executives in the NFL that you have your head together.

Will someone in this kid's life please step in here? Anyone? No parent or coach can lend a hand to a guy with all the talent in the world yet no brain? Clarett filed a law suit against the NFL this week, claiming that its rules are unfair. Right now, the way it stands, you have to be out of high school for at least three years to be eligible for the draft.

Eventually, this rule will be absolved. That's for sure. Just look at all of the money the NBA makes from all of these high school kids. You don't think that one day down the road we won't see these eighteen year olds jumping right to the NFL Draft? Please, don't kid yourself!

Okay, I have had enough of this story.

Maurice Clarett -- Smacked!!!

Smack This: Nassau Veterans Memorial Rip Off -- Can I ask you something? When was the last time that the New York Islanders won the Stanley Cup? That's right folks. It was way back in 1983-1984. How many of you remember where you were then? Not many of you? Okay, let me ask you this then. What has Mike Milbury done in Long Island? Let me ask you what you think of when I say his name. Now, you may be thinking by what I am saying that I hate the Islanders. Maybe, I'm even a die hard Rangers fan. Nope. I am an avid, religious, die hard New York Islanders fan, and I am pissed off.

Shall I continue? Good, because there really wasn't a choice there! In all seriousness, when the hockey season comes around the corner I get so juiced up. I love going early in the morning to wait in line and get some tickets for my favorite team, the New York Islanders. This year was no different.

Off I went to get tickets and as I pulled up I found plenty of Isles fans already waiting impatiently for the doors to open up. Once they did, I couldn't believe what I found. Can you believe, and yes I am very serious, that the New York Islanders are charging $140 a ticket to sit in the prime seats for that arena? This is a jump of over $35 per ticket. Let me tell you, that it costs less form primo seats at Yankee Stadium, Giants Stadium, and everywhere else I can think of in the area. Even the Rangers, at the greatest arena of all, Madison Square Garden, are a whole lot cheaper.

Beyond that, the Islanders are charging over $30 per ticket to sit in the top freaking two rows of the arena. Again, are you joking? Just a couple of years ago, this Charles Wing Wong talked about bringing the fans back to the arena, he dropped prices and said all of the right things. Heck, he even went out and got Alexei Yashin and Michael Peca to show the true fans that they could once again believe in the orange and blue.

Now what happened? The dreams became big business and the reality of another bad team that spends less and charges more. In the off-season, the team got only the pathetic Mariusz Czerkawski, when guys like Derian Hatcher, Paul Kariya, and Teemu Selanne were out there on the market. Czerkawski stinks. He is a bumb. They brought me a new coach who nobody has ever heard of, a bum to play on Alexei Yashin's line, and raised the ticket prices through the roof?

I never thought I would say this but I wish John Spano was back and pretending to be owner. I really do. The players were crappy, and so was the food in the arena, but the seats were cheap and the guys gave it their all. So what if nobody went but me!

I am disgusted. I can't talk about this anymore. What the hell is a family of four, dad with his son, or anyone for that matter who isn't Richie Rich, supposed to do? Please tell me! If anyone sees Wang or Milbury, please bring them to me. Off with their heads!

New York Islanders -- Smacked!!!

One for the road: Today's one for the road is dedicated to Alfonso Soriano. I hate the Yankees, but this guy is so damn good, that he hung under the radar all year, and by getting hot towards the tail end of the year, has somehow put together some more ridiculous numbers. He is beyond good.

Hit me up with feedback at eSports (click the Write the Editor link) or on my homepage at http://www.suite101.com/myhome.cfm/theycallmethecloser. Come on and click that link already! You can't possibly agree with everything I say!

See ya' all next time folks! Until then, don't be the one who's smacked!