Part II - The Western Rites

Christianity is such a widespread religion and covers so many cultures that apart from the fact that the burial followed by a mass in the community Church, a memorial service for the departed soul, is the most common ceremony. The funeral is usually followed by a community dining, again to give friends and family a chance to show support to the bereaved family. The Greek Orthodox Church believes that at the moment of death, a person gets a partial vision of heaven and hell, thereafter goes to one. Mourners have to wear navy blue or black, pay respects to the departed and the family, kiss the object (usually a cross) held on the body’s chest, bow in front of the casket carrying the body and place a flower. After the burial, there is again a community dining, called a `mercy meal’. Widows usually wear black for up to 2 years and a memorial service held after 40 days, on a nearest Sunday.

The Protestant Church, basically a reformation of the Roman Catholic Church seeks to do away with the dogma of the Roman Catholic Church, but otherwise the beliefs and rites do not change much. This sect accepts the Bible as their only source of faith and truth. Accordingly, the rules all centre on comforting the grieving family and ensuring an easy acceptance of the loss. They also celebrate the lifetime of the deceased, tributes and speaking in glowing terms of his or her achievements and contribution to this world. The other services are all usually designed around the requirements of the family and their convenience. The funerals usually is done three days after the death and in most cases these three days are used for friends and family to see the deceased before he or she embarks on their final journey, and pay their condolences to the family.

After the funeral guests gather in the deceased’s home and share memories with the family. This is also a communal way of sharing the grief due to the loss.

The Roman Catholic Church though an epitome of traditions and sacraments, has also undergone many adjustments according to the country, region, and social status of the family.

Usually, the second day after the death is for visitations and meeting the family. The third day is for the funeral service, or the Mass, which is a bigger service. This is one of the most solidly traditional parts of the Roman Catholic Church, since The Mass has been followed for centuries, done in the same manner and attended with as much belief and pure religious fervor. In fact, till recently, it was held only in Latin, making it very difficult for everyone to relate to it or even understand it. Very recently it has been started in local languages, so the parish members can now understand their own prayers. The priest reads from the Scriptures, passages that decry the Lord’s wish and the strength that can be derived from friends, family and above all, Faith in the Lord, at the time of grief.

After the service a funeral reception may be held, and sometimes, food is also offered.

The whole idea is that the entire community rallies around the family that has lost a member, a mother who has lost a child or a child lost a parent…and gives them support. This makes acceptance of the loss easier to handle.

Judaism, like Christianity, is made up of different sects. Some believe in resurrection while some don’t, though all agree on a type of life after death after the coming of the messiah. But almost all follow, to some extent, similar practices for the funeral rites and services.

Mourners are not permitted to enter during the reading of the eulogies or any other part of the service and the casket is carried to the grave in a slow procession with seven pauses along the way. The immediate family then recites the Kaddish, and after the burial, the family leaves between two rows of friends and mourners. This, again, is a symbol of the support the bereaved family will be getting from other community members.

The service the day after the death is conducted by Rabbis and the funeral is by burial in a closed casket. An important thing is that in the attendees of the funeral, no symbol of another faith is allowed, so no crosses or anything else can be worn. Men must wear head coverings while women must have their arms and legs covered till the knees, of course, the head should be covered too. All food should be kosher. The seven-day period following internment is for morning and receiving visitors, during which there are two services everyday, again a form of communiqué with God, to pacify the grief stricken family. In this period (not unlike another ancient religion, Hinduism), complete bathing is not permitted, i.e., no shaving or cutting of nails and hair, or conduct business. This is a way of avoiding vanity, to show respect for the departed soul. The morning period could last from 30 days (for a cousin, aunt or uncle) to 11 months (for parent or child).

We notice that in every religion, across continents, countries climatic zones and races, the rites of death are basically made up of two things, peace to the departed soul, and support to the surviving people. The community plays a very large part in the second while the religious clergy plays the greater role in ensuring peace and perhaps, a good rebirth for the dead person. Whatever the logistics may be, the entire concept of funerals and rites of passage is to face the fact that a person is dead, and that we shall have to continue living with the loss. After all, life does not stop for anyone.