General: Sterno's Talkin' Smack -- Episode #54

Sterno's Talkin' Smack. No holding back here. It's all trash, all the time. Welcome to another wacky and crazy Tuesday installment of the best column in all the land. On today's comeback edition, we will chat about Sebastian Janikowski, and the always unpredictable National Football league.

Smack This: Sebastian Janikowski - Okay, we welcome you back to the program and at the same time, we welcome back our friend Sebastian "Fat Boy," Janikowski. If it seems like every other week that this overweight drunk of a kicker is getting himself into trouble, it is. Once again, Sebastian has coaches bailing him out of a personal relations nightmare.

In case you didn't hear, Janikowski got into yet another altercation outside of a bar and will as usual, get away with it. Why is it that this guy is so damn fat? Survey says? Beer! Whether it is drinking and driving which is completely ridiculous and just as dangerous, or getting pissed drunk and fighting with anyone willing, this guy is always in trouble.

Maybe, just maybe, the Raiders can make an example out of someone. Do you think we will ever see the day that Al Davis will choose morals over the team's winning games? Probably not! They let Bill Romanowski beat the ever loving crap out of his teammate and miss not even a pre-season game, and now for the fiftieth time, this fat bumb gets to kick for the team on Sunday (Monday Night in this case).

Instead of being afraid of the fans and the media, the team should at least pretend that it cares about how it looks to its players. Maybe if they actually enforced discipline, the team wouldn't always lead the NFL in penalties. Just a thought!

Janikowski and the Oakland Raiders -- Smacked!!!

Smack This: Around the NFL We Go - It's time to take a trip around the National Football League. In this thrill a minute segment, I will dance all over the most fun topics from this past weekend's action.

Let's start with the surprises. Who would have thought that the NFC would look like it does after the first three weeks of the season? The answer -- sure as hell not me! The Seattle Seahawks are the powerhouse? Can it be? Well, they sit up top at 3-0, while teams like the Rams and 49ers are down at 1-2. It looks like a change of address for the NFC West. That is of course, if Mike Holmgren's crew doesn't choke. It's certainly a big if!

Did anyone watch Patrick Ramsey against the Giants? Mark it down in ink right now. No, not ink. Use permanent marker! Ramsey will be a top five quarterback in this league by the time his career hits its peak. Yes, I said top five. Why? Plenty of QB's have arms. Even Jeff George had a great arm. However, it is poise and presence in the pocket that you can never teach a quarterback in the NFL. Ramsey already has it and he hasn't even been a starter for a full season. He is going to be special.

What's going on in Minnesota? Can this really be happening? It seems as if the draft day disaster is long forgotten and the Vikings are the cream of the crop. The Packers have looked more like Swiss cheese than they have a playoff team!

Over in the AFC, the J-E-T-S are D-O-N-E. Just incase you Jets fans had crazy thoughts, the team reminded you of its talent level by going to 0-3 with their loss to the Pats. The worst stat of all for them is that there are fifteen rushers with more yards than the entire Jets team. That's much more pathetic than even that other offensive line playing in that stadium.

The Miami Dolphins made a huge statement by beating the Buffalo Bills. No, it wasn't that they are going to win the AFC. It was that they finally get the point with Ricky Williams. Give him the ball. Then, give it to him again. Then, give it to him again. I hope Mr. Wannstedt remembers that!

As for the AFC powerhouse? Look no further that to the Priest. Priest Holmes is a fantasy stud for sure, but he is even more of a stud in reality. He finds the end zone like no back since Marcus Allen and he catches the ball that any wide out on his team. Look for Dick Vermeil's team to stick to their winning ways for a majority of the season.

Tidbits from the NFL -- Smacked!!!

One for the Road: Today's one for the road is short, sweet and simple. The Yankees and Giants are going to rekindle their rivalry this year in the World Series, and no fan, including die-hard Mets fans like me should complain even one bit. It is simply a great thing for baseball.

I'll be back with a whole lot of trash tomorrow!

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See ya' all next time folks! Until then, don't be the one who's smacked!