The Democrats' Best Weapon This Fall: George W. Bush

It’s just a few weeks away from election time and the guys following the donkey are positively oozing drool. And why not? Nearly every poll since spring has shown that the rest of America is finally—at long last—catching on to what we "unpatriotic, un-American, left-wing, Bush-haters" have known since January 20, 2001: George W. Bush is not only unfit and unprepared to be President of the United States, but he is a danger a thousand times worse than Saddam Hussein ever was. Yes, the Democrats are solid in their conviction that come next January they will be in charge of at least the House of Representatives and maybe all of Congress.

Alas, I’m sad to say, it probably ain't gonna happen.

The greatest success of the Republicans—well, really the only success of the Republicans—is changing the way politics is played. For the past twenty years, ever since Reagan and his pack of liars convinced voters conservatives are the ones who are patriotic and care about them, the Democrats have been playing scared. Despite the fact that with each passing day Pres. Bush's grip on anything even approaching competence vanishes a little more, and despite the fact that ever since the port scandal he has been nothing more than a lame duck ready to be Peking roasted, the Democrats have continued to show him the fealty he thinks he demands as the King of America.

Pres. Bush is nothing more than a common criminal. He’s far worse than Ken Lay; he’s far worse than John Mark Karl even if it turned out he really had killed JonBenet. Pres. Bush should be facing impeachment and yet most Democrats trampled over each other in their Italian loafers in a mad scramble to distance themselves from Russ Feingold when he only wanted a meaningless censure of Pres. Bush. Pres. Bush has broken the law a thousands times more often that Clinton and a hundred times worse than Nixon ever did. He should be sitting in a cold jail somewhere instead of staging a phony meeting with a Hurricane Katrina victim who praises him but who turns out to be a Republican office-seeker.

Isn’t there anyone in the Democratic Party besides Howard Dean who even knows the meaning of the word backbone? These spineless wieners unblinkingly go along with increasingly misnamed Patriot Act; they unquestioningly walk in lockstep with Bush's terrorist invasion of Iraq; they twiddle their thumbs while a wild-eyed Bush illegally wiretaps whomever he pleases. (Are you honestly trying to tell me that this program only eavesdrops on peopled with suspected ties to Islamic terrorists when there are tens of millions of names on that list!) These Democrats want to win back control of the legislative branch? With every beat of my heart, I wish them luck. Anything that would break the current fascist hold on every branch of American politics would be a step in the right direction.

But let’s be honest. This is the same Democratic Party that not only thought John Kerry was the best candidate they had to put up against Karl Rove last time around, but that also appears to be seriously considering allowing John Kerry to have another go-round at letting the dirty tricksters in the GOP turn HIM into the questionable Vietnam vet again. Hell, if John Kerry couldn’t take the high ground on Vietnam against George "AWOL from the National Guard" Bush, how well do you think he’ll do against John "POW" McCain. Never mind that McCain is nothing but a carbon copy of the man whose butt he has been kissing for five and a half years.

It used to be whenever I heard the name George Clooney, I turned the TV off. How is that only he and Howard Dean appear to be the only registered Democrat with the kachongas to publicly say what needs to be said. I never thought much of Clooney as an actor, but to be painfully honest I'd step into that voting booth and mark my little arrow for George Clooney as President over anyone that looks to be lining up on the Democrats' side. Unfortunately, it won't matter who they eventually nominate. I'll be forced to vote for him or her to just to keep us free of another four years of GOP failure.

Will the Dems gain control of one or both houses of Congress in the fall? They’ve got only one thing going for them. There is absolutely no way in hell that Pres. Bush and his gang are finally, after five and a half years, going to figure out how to run the country. If history is an indication, things will continue getting worse, in fact. By election time, the number of US deaths in Iraq will probably have topped 3,000, there may be another Katrina debacle the GOP has to explain, and gasoline could very well be nearing the $3.50 range.

Unfortunately, the best candidate the Democrats have campaigning this fall is…George W. Bush.