Pyramids

The Great Pyramid remains impervious to plunderers, archaeologists and webcam-wielding robots. But our net guide may yet penetrate its hidden mysteries ...

1. There is an Arab proverb that reads "Man fears time, yet time fears the pyramids".

2. The 4,500-year-old Great Pyramid, created by the ruler Khufu or Cheops, has lived up to the proverb by refusing to offer up its mysteries to viewers of the National Geographic Channel.

3. High hopes of treasures, mummies or ancient curses were dashed when the scientists' tiny robot took two hours to crawl through a narrow air shaft, drill through a door and push a camera through to thrill viewers of the live television special and webcast with ... another door. Further investigations could hold up another attempt at reaching the hidden chamber for 12 months.

4. The spectacular anticlimax ranks alongside Geraldo Rivera's hour-long special on the opening of Al Capone's secret vault in April 1986, which culminated in the discovery of a pile of dirt rather than a cache of gold.

5. Despite the disappointment, the pyramids continue to spawn a whole series of imitators, including pyramid schemes, a casino in Las Vegas and, er, the now sadly discontinued chocolate confectionery, the Pyramint.

6. And every man and his mouse is convinced they can unravel the mystery that has baffled scientists for centuries. Are these strange structures water pumps or giant space antennae?

7. Or were they created by aliens, residents of Atlantis, or did the Egyptians use kites to aid their construction? Thankfully, there are some more rational explanations.

8. Sceptics dismiss all such theories as nonsense, aka pyramidiocy.

9. Plans to add a golden capstone for the 2000 millennium celebrations were cancelled after the idea provoked outrage from archaeologists worried about damaging one of the seven wonders of the ancient world. That in turn riled the pyramidiots, including David Icke

10. If you aren't convinced by kites or aliens, you could also do an Indiana Jones and check it out for yourself. But be warned. The 1908 edition of Baedeker's Egypt says: "Travellers who are in the slightest degree predisposed to apoplectic or fainting fits, and ladies travelling alone, should not attempt to penetrate into these stifling recesses." Don't say we didn't warn you.