Yo Mamma

Yo mama is so old when she ran the 10 meter dash they used a sun dial.

Yo mama is so old she used to baby sit Yoda.

Yo mama is so old she has all twelve apostles in her black book.

Yo mama is so old she took her driving test on the back of a dinosaur.

Yo mama is so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

Yo mama is so old when God said, "Let there be light," she flipped the switch.

Yo mama is so old she has hieroglyphics on her driver’s license.

Yo mama is so old even her nails have wrinkles.

Yo mama so fat she stepped on the scale and it said "To Be Continued....."

Yo mamma so fat when she wore a pink raincoat everybody was saying "Barney!"

Yo mama so poor she was digging in the trash, I said What are you doing? And she said shopping.

Your mama is so fat that when she gets on a moped, you can't hear the engine run!!!

Yo Mama's Like A Stamp Like Her, Stick Her And Send Her Away.

Yo Mama's Like A Pepsi Machine, 75 Cents For A New Generation.

Yo Mama's Like A Vacuum, She Blows, Sucks, And Gets Layed In The Closet.

Yo Mama's Like A Bowling Ball, Pick Her Up, Finger Her, Throw Her Down The Gutter, And She Always Comes Back For More.

Yo Mama's Like A Hardware Store... 10 Cents A Screw.

Yo mama so dumb she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death!

Yo mama so fat she tried to jump the grand canyon and got stuck!

Yo mama so fat she squashed Godzilla like a bug with her shoe!

Yo mama so dumb she stole a free cookie!

Yo mama so poor she put pigeon crap on lay-away!

Yo mama so poor the garbage man picked up a crumb and she told him to put back thanks giving

Yo mama is so fat that every time she turns around it's your birthday

Yo mama is so fat that she has to put her belt on with a boomerang

Yo mama is so fat the last time she saw 90210 she was on the scales

Yo mama is so fat she got a group discount when she went to Disneyland.

Yo mama is so fat she jumped and got stuck in thin air

Yo mama so fat she sat in a monster truck and made it a low rider.

Yo mama like a shotgun one cock she blows

Yo mama so fat, when she saw the empire state building she thought it was a toothpick.

Yo mama so fat, she stepped in a pool and thought it was a puddle

Yo mama so fat, her only friend is the guy who works at McDonalds.

Yo mama so messy, when she went to use the toilet a roach slapped her bum and said "wait your turn"

Yo mama so poor, when you did a ding-dong-ditch there was no doorbell to press.

Yo mama so poor, her family Christmas tree was a branch.

Yo mama so dumb, she thought general motors was in the army.

Yo mama so dumb, when she saw a McDonald’s commercial and thought the hamburger was an escaped criminal and locked up all her doors.

Yo mama so fat she needs a map to find her belly button.

Yo mama so stupid she sits on the TV and watches the couch.

Yo mama so huge and fat that the cause of the New York Black Out was her flossing her teeth with the telephone wires.

Your mama so ugly the heavens cause a thunder storm the moment she TRIES to get out the door

Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!

Yo Mama's so poor, when she was walking down the street and she only had one shoe, I was like "Lost a shoe?" and she said "Nope, found one."

Yo momma so fat when she went to the dry cleaner, they said we don’t do curtains.

Yo momma so fat when she went to the beach, Greenpeace said go back in the water.

Yo momma so old she knew burger king when he was a prince.

Yo momma so old she still owes Jesus $2.

Yo momma so dumb she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

Yo momma so dumb she sat on the TV and watched the couch.

Yo momma so ugly when she went to a strip joint they paid her to keep her clothes on.

Yo momma so ugly when she went to the supermarket the cameras turned around

Yo mamma is so old that when she went to school there was no history class

Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

Yo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends

Yo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon

Yo mama so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitimate" because she couldn't read

Yo mama so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind

Yo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl

Yo mama so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!

Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes!

Yo mama so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!

Yo mama so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!

Yo mama so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!

Yo mama so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!

Yo mama so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!

Yo mama so stupid she took a cup to see Juice.

Yo mama so stupid that she sold the car for gas money.

Yo mama so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911"

Yo mama so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

Yo mama so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."

Yo mama so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.

Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.

Yo mama so stupid she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Yo mama so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.

Yo mama so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.

Yo mama so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.

Yo mama so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.

Yo mama so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.

Yo mama so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!

Yo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl

Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

Yo mama so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!

Yo mama so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!

Yo mama so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.

Yo mama so stupid she bought a video camera to record cable TV shows at home.

Yo mama so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.

Yo mama so stupid she jumped out the window and went up.

Yo mama so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund.

Yo mama so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.

Yo mama so stupid that under "Education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics."

Yo mama so stupid she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.

Yo mama so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead, talking about she was trying to makeup her mind.

Yo mama so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.

Yo mamma's so stupid, she was screwing a turkey and I asked her what she was doing, she said she was making a new species, the turkey was female…

Yo Momma is so fat that when she jumped on a rainbow, skittles came out.

Yo Momma is so fat when wears a yellow raincoat people yell "Hey Taxi."

Yo Momma is so fat that when she went underwater a whale came up and sang "We are family, even though you’re fatter than me".

Yo Momma is so black that when she went to night school they marked her absent.

Yo mama is so fat she dj's for the ice cream truck

Yo mama so stupid she invented a wheel chair with pedals

Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up

Yo mama so fat her nickname is "Lardo"

Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.

Yo mama so fat were in her right now

Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise

Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone

Yo mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors

Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off her...

Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for then new world

Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy

Yo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!

Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!

Yo mama so fat she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"

Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"

Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized

Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway

Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller

Yo mama so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets

Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th

Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too

Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"

Yo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!

Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"

Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.

Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.

Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.

Yo mama so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!

Yo mama's teeth are soo yellow when she smiles cars slow down....

Yo mama is so stupid she stared at a Orange Juice box for 30 minutes because it said Concentrate...

Yo mama is so Fat she sat on a quarter and squeezed a booger right outta George Washington’s Nose...

Yo mama is so Ugly she walked into a horror house and walked out with an Application...

yo mama is so Fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles came out....

Yo mama is so poor I wanted into her room and saw three cockroaches singing WE ARE FAMILY...

Yo mama is so Fat it takes her 375 days to turn in a circle...

Your mama's so ugly, she makes Michael Jackson look like Brad Pitt.

Your mama's so fat, she heard of slim fast and cried for joy.

Your mama's so nasty, I asked her what was for dinner and she hopped up on the table, spread her legs and said, "Crap!"

Your mama's so fat, she has her own zip code.

Your mama's so poor, she was walking down a hall and I said, "what's wrong, did you lose a shoe," and she said, "No, I just found one."

Your momma is so ugly she maid Freddy Gugur have nightmares

Your momma is so tall she maid Godzilla look like a action figure

Your momma is like a door knob everybody gets a turn

Yo mama so stupid I told her the beetles were back and she said call the exterminator

Yo Mama is so old she was here the first day of slavery