Instead Of Pain

You thought that I was joking
Not even I was sure
I didn’t think id kill my self
But to much pain I have endured
I can’t believe I let it go
The trigger I have pulled
The pain I felt you’ll never know
Even I was fooled
I didn’t know how to do it
Take control of my hate
I guess I found a way
Death was just my fate
I use to laugh when I herd the stories
Of people committing suicide
Now I’m one of them
The pain would not subside
I thought that I could make it
I guess I wasn’t right
I guess I couldn’t take it
All the restless nights
I would wonder if you’d see
That one day I was gone
Maybe it’s just me
But I haven’t held you for so long
I know I shouldn’t think of you
At least not like this
But I can’t seem to help it
There’s sum thin about you I miss
I’m not sure what it was
Maybe it’s your kiss
Maybe it’s the feeling
I got when I was with you
But now I let it go
There was nothing left to do
I thought about it from dark till light
Death was just in my sight
It was the way for my escape
The only way I could take
Maybe it was the easy way out
But no one could hear my shout
I screamed for help
No one came to my side
I guess I couldn’t take it
The pain would not subside
I never thought id be the one
To ever end my life
I thought about doing it
Cutting with the knife
It’s so much easier said then done
So I resorted to the gun
Pulling the trigger was the easiest thing
So much easier then you’re game
Alive or dead it’s all the same
But I chose death instead of pain
I had nothing left to do
No one heard my screams
Nothing left that I could say
My life was pointless anyway
No one will notice if I die
No one cares no one cries
I just couldn’t take it
Looking in your eyes
I just seemed to realize
It’s truly you that I despise
I gave my heart for you to take
Guess I did the wrong thing
I found that you were fake
I shout for help and no one came
To live or die it’s all the same
I chose death instead of pain!