General: Air Hockey League planned in Wisconsin

Margorie Johnson grew up playing air hockey. So when the 23-year-old San Pedro Wis., native heard about plans for the new Wisconsin Air Hockey League (WAHL), she set out to fulfill her childhood dream of becoming a professional air hockey player.

"When I heard about the WAHL, I just about jumped out of my socks," said an elated Johnson. "For me, air hockey is a part of who I am, so to be able to pursue my dream as an air hockey player is just splendid. I'm very excited for it."

The league is the brainchild of Gus Millara, a retired bus driver who says he is nostalgic for the days when air hockey was "all the rage."

"I remember a day when two buddies would go down to the malt shoppe, pump a few nickels into the air hockey machine, and play for hours," said Millara. "Nowadays, these dang kids just smoke them cigarettes and listen to rap music -- it's the downfall of American society. You thought Dan Quayle was bad? Just wait and see what happens if we keep heading down this path," said a stern Millara.

Frustrated with what he calls "the pathetic nature of today's entertainment options," Milllara pooled together about $12,000 to start the league.

"I wanted to give people something better to do with their time, and I hope that the WAHL will do just that," said Millara. "I want to get the league in action by next January, and hopefully we will have at least six teams. That's my hope and my dream. Actually, I think you could say that it's part dream and part hope, kind of like a 'drope.'"

The WAHL will give people like Johnson an opportunity to turn the sport they love into a full-time career.

"I used to think that the time I spent playing air hockey was just a waste," said Johnson. "But now I'm not so sure, the WAHL has me revved up again. I've even started practicing like six hours a day, it's pretty wacky."

While the final details for the league -- including venue information, team names and ticket prices -- should be available next week, Johnson says that she finds it difficult to wait that long.

"I'll be honest as an oak tree, I want the league to start today," she said. "I've waited my whole life to turn my pathetic little hobby into a livelihood. The time is now, let's get things rolling. I want to show everybody just how good I am at the game of air hockey. Everybody has their eight-and-a-half minutes in the spotlight, this is mine."

While the league is not yet official, promotional t-shirts for the WAHL became available this morning. The t-shirts are emblazoned with the slogan: "PUCK IT. Let's play some air hockey."

Johnson, for one, is pleased with the new t-shirts.

"For me, these shirts represent the start of something great," said Johnson. "The WAHL is on its way, and air hockey will be in every home, on every TV set. It's going to be awesome. The t-shirt really says it all: 'PUCK IT. Let's play some air hockey.'"

This is a work of fiction, any references to people, places, events, or even slogans, real or fictional, are purely coincidental.