No One

Not long now,
No time left,
I can’t turn back,
Or lay my mind to rest,
No chance to say goodbye,
What’s done is done,
I am to die.

The world will stop spinning,
The moment I pull the trigger,
Everything will stop.
No life around me.
No sounds to hear.
No movement to see.
Nothing to fear.

I feel the cold metal of the gun in my hand,
I feel the trickle of blood run down my wrist.
I see the loneliness,
Which led to this moment.
I taste my fear,
Of what’s to come,
Of what is near.

I’m alone in my room.
The black walls caving in on me.
The silence burning my ears.
I want to scream,
I want to shout,
I want to end the slow burn.
I want to end my life.

I make the decision.

I lift the gun to my head.
I’m sure of what I’m doing.
I want to be dead.
I let my finger find the trigger,
And then I wonder.
Would anyone notice?
Would anyone care?

Those thoughts burn inside my mind.
They make me sick.
Would anyone bother to find me?
Would they worry?
Would they cry?
Would they care?
If I were to die.

Tears stream from my eyes,
As I realize there is nothing left.
Nothing for me in this world.
No one to love me.
No one to love…
No one to care.
No one to notice.

I’m hysterical.
I can’t stop crying.
I can’t stop screaming out my sorry regrets.
My body is shaking with sorrow.
‘No one’ I keep telling myself ‘No one’.
I want to make myself hurt,
So no one else can.
I scream ‘NO ONE!’

I pull the trigger.