A Plastic Anemia

Am I alive
I go to the hospital all the time
is this how my life is going to be
or am I going to cry while I get poked by a needle
going through my skin to get blood
throwing up from the medicine
is this the life I want to live
no but I have to get through it
no matter how much I cry
how many times I think it will never get better
I am going to be sick forever
I can't figure out if I am dead or alive
I mean if you look at it with all the times I have had surgery
I was like I was dead sleeping
not able to keep myself alive
I feel dead, then I wake up and I’m alive
and I don't know what happen except I’m in pain
am I alive or am I dead
my body doesn't except me
but the doctors are trying to make it except me
but I don't think it's going to change anything!