El Gato Hombre

There is a man in Key West
That thinks his cats are the best
Ha! They do nothing but sit on that dock!
Can't pet the felines? That is a shock
He probably strolls up n' down the shores
Because his un-groomed self is poor
If you have a couple of dollars
You can pay four
Inside of a bucket that is actually a lure
For unsuspecting Key Wester's and tourists
That come knocking on his door
And he yaps his Espanol
I'll get down low and stand up and unfold to
say
"Yo tengo un gato muerte en mis pantalones"
And it's going to sound like a bunch of
baloney
I'm perverting your fuzzballs?
Oh! Those cats suffer between your clenching
jaws
And breaking laws about animals and
practicing cannibalism
Is not hurting your patriotism
But keep screwing with spectator's minds
I'll give all kinds of fleas to your cats
to see
No glee for thee when you're paying that fee
Of my wrath when I've had enough!