The Politically Correct Workplace Even Applies To Potatoes

By Linda Orlando

Before the term "politically correct" became a regular comedy routine on late-night television and in households around the globe, most people were able to communicate their thoughts and intentions pretty clearly. Granted, someone may have gotten their feathers ruffled now and then if a particular word choice didn’t sit well with them—but they got over it. The ability to communicate was much more important than the need to evaluate the communication from every possible angle to be sure no one would be offended.

Unfortunately, straightforward, simple communication is fast becoming a thing of the past, particularly in the workplace. Some of the politically correct alternatives suggested for normal daily workplace routines border on the ridiculous. Would you like a black coffee? Oh no! You can’t say that—you must say coffee without milk! And you’re not meeting with a group of businessmen—you’re meeting with some businesspeople! (Even if all of them are men.) And be sure the phones are manned during that meeting—oops; I mean they have to be staffed! Well, there should be someone there to answer the phone, as long as they’re not late. Wait, I don’t mean late—I meant to say I hope they don’t have a rescheduled arrival time! Good grief. Webster must be rolling over in his grave, lamenting about all the perfectly useful words he’s defined having to be replaced or repositioned in order to keep everybody happy.

There are many, many instances in today’s society where things have been taken much too far in an effort to be "politically correct" and keep everybody’s feeling intact. And one of the most hilarious and idiotic suggestions for PC language happened in June, in Ireland of all places. The Department of Enterprise, Trade, and Investment (DETI) in Belfast decided that from now on, when executives get together at a company to toss ideas around and generate discussion among their staff, they shouldn’t use the term "brainstorming." Let that one sink in for a minute. Can you guess why civil servants in Ireland won’t be brainstorming anymore? Why, it’s because they’ll be developing "thought-showers" instead. That’s right, the DETI has decided that the term "brainstorming" may be offensive to people with epilepsy, as well as those with brain tumors or brain injuries. A spokeswoman said, "The DETI does not use the term ‘brainstorming’ on its training courses on the grounds that it may be deemed pejorative."

The Campaign for Plain English has complained loudly that some decisions made in today’s business world have "reached the point of real ridicule." According to spokesman John Wild, 'You do sometimes wonder if some people haven’t got anything better to do with their time. Do they just sit down and search out enough words until eventually they can say: ‘I can make that out to be politically incorrect?’ Of course there are certain terms that should be deemed out of bounds, but then sometimes things go too far. I am certain that those who dreamt this up are not suffering from any brain disease or injury. They just want to find offence anywhere they can stumble across it."

Perhaps the Campaign for Plain English should have a talk with the British Potato Council. Seems potato farmers in Britain have decided to take issue with the expression "couch potato," even staging a rally in London to demand that it be struck from the Oxford English Dictionary on the grounds that it harms the vegetable’s image. (No, I’m not making this up.) Kathryn Race, head of marketing at the Council said the group had sent written complaints to the Oxford University Press but did not receive a response. Imagine that. "We are trying to get rid of the image that potatoes are bad for you," she said. "The potato has had its knocks in the past. Of course it is not the Oxford English Dictionary's fault, but we want to use another term than couch potato because potatoes are inherently healthy." As for the Oxford English Dictionary, their editor, John Simpson, said the dictionary added the term "couch potato" in 1993, and said "dictionaries just reflect words that society uses."

The British Potato Council is planning public protests to further their campaign, and they’re hopeful that the Oxford English Dictionary will take notice. So in the next edition, the term with the definition "a person who spends leisure time passively or idly sitting around, especially watching television or videotapes" will not be "couch potato," if British potato farmers have their way. The potato is, after all, a tender little spud with delicate feelings. So the British Potato Council suggests that the term "couch slouch" would be much more acceptable. But wait a minute—won’t that offend people with bad posture? Hmm.