Poker: Celebrity Poker Showdown
Game #3.1 -- Jeff Gordon doesn't go all in

Way, way back in the very first Celebrity Poker Showdown tournament, there was only one person I was honest to God rooting for, and that was Ron Livingston.

Of course, Ron met his end by the Card Rack called Paul Rudd, but that'd be fine because CPS would make me a Paul Rudd fan. Flash forward to Tournament 3, and only one person I'm honestly rooting for: Ron Livingston.

Deja Vu, anyone?

Paul Rudd isn't in this tournament, so knowing Ron to be a pretty solid player, I figured it was high time he got a well-deserved victory. After all, this is the guy who ruled in "Swingers" and "The Cooler," both great films about Vegas. He's also one of the nicest guys in the business and it doesn't hurt that he's cute. With the Card Rack out of his way, all Ron had to do was take down Kathy Griffin, Jeff Gordon, Penn Jillette and Angie Dickinson.

Hey, I didn't say it was going to be easy for him.

In fact, it wouldn't be that easy at all. In a group full of quirky types, it wouldn't even happen, because out of nowhere came Jeff Gordon. Yep, as NASCAR fans the world over cringe, there's that damned Jeff Gordon again, this time winning at the poker table.

Penn certainly found him to be amusing. At every conceivable opportunity, the infamous magician would announce, "Jeff Gordon goes all in!" I was cracking up laughing over this about after the fourth time, and it was stuck in my head through Saturday. In the words of the much cooler Phil Gordon, however, "You realize that for all the times you've said that, Jeff Gordon has never gone all in."

That was pretty much indicative of Penn's night. Without any magic tricks up his sleeve, he matched his Q-10 against Jeff's pair of jacks. The board was a meaningless 10-4-2-7-6, and Penn was kicked out. You think that stopped him from repeating "Jeff Gordon goes all in!" a dozen times? Hell, no.

An interesting hand was the next plot twist: after Kathy failed to beat Angie's K-6 with her Q-8, she was down to a mere one chip. Yep, a mere $100. She thought she was eliminated until Tournament Director Bob corrected her. This is definitely the least amount of money I've ever seen anyone have at a poker table. Hey, she won Celebrity Mole Hawaii, so it's not like she's starved for cash, right?

Unsurprisingly, the next hand did her in. Ron held A-Q against her 10-7 and the board went 3-Q-2-4-8, sending Kathy over the rail. I was thinking it was a pretty solid game from one of my favorite actors (in the little universe in my head, he was also my co-star in my first movie, the one Jon Favreau directed), and that he had half a chance at winning this thing and therefore evening the score.

So much for that idea.

Ron held 3-J against Jeff's 8-10, and he'd previously been able to bluff Jeff out of a decent pot by going all in, so after the board went K-8-6-6, he attempted the same maneuver. Unfortunately for my boy, Jeff's two pair were too good to lay down and he called. The river was a useless 5 and sadly, for the second time in three tournaments, I had to say good night to Ron Livingston, truly the epitome of a class act.

This narrowed it down to Jeff and Angie, who had been facing elimination herself once in the evening and didn't have much of a chip stack when compared to that of the NASCAR champ's. It also made for the second most infamous Phil Gordon moment ever.

Angie went all in on one hand and it would only have cost Jeff an additional $600 to call the bet and see a flop; however, he decided to fold. Cue Phil looking absolutely shocked. I'm talking stunned. This is the "somebody drove a Volkswagen through my living room" expression. Ladies and gentlemen, I can't articulate how priceless this is. Phil Gordon, master of complete and total disbelief.

On the subsequent hand, Angie held J-6 and Jeff had pocket 10's. It would cost him $3600 to call, and this time he did. Cue sound bite from Phil: "You can call $3600, but you can't call $600?" he says, still coming down from shock. As if to prove to Jeff that he should've listened, the scary flop came Q-J-5, but after a 6 on the turn, a third 10 came up on the river and made Jeff Gordon champion.

This is the point in the show where everyone comes out and sends the evening off with a flourish. Of course, this evening with ranting magicians and "Police Woman" jokes, we couldn't just leave it at that, could we?

Kathy proceeded to go over to Jeff and tell him all about Phil's shock attack. "Why don't you tell him what you said?" she quips. "He actually used the word idiot."

Jeff, of course, just shrugged. He knew, but: "I won, didn't I?"

Yes, Jeff, you beat the hyperactive magician, the cult TV actress, the embittered comic and the cool cat. For that, you get to walk away with your sanity. For the rest of us, it was just one more Thursday that was a hell of a lot of fun.