Poker: Celebrity Poker Showdown
Game #3.1 -- Insanity becomes them

There are moments in my life where I swear I've wandered into an episode of 24 and don't know it. I'm naturally a tad hyperactive, and life will catch up with that same speed and turn a moment or a day into an exercise in superhuman execution. Usually, it works out and then life reverts to its normal, much more basic state.

However, the first game of Celebrity Poker Showdown's third tournament reminds me of one of those kind of times.

The five celebrities involved in this table -- "Evil" Willie Garson from the very first go-around, Jennie Garth, Richard Kind, creepy rocker Dave Navarro and Jerry O'Connell -- all at varying times looked like they needed to have their caffeine confiscated or at least take a deep breath, as they were bouncing off the walls. I sometimes think that were you to drop a pro like Erick Lindgren in the middle of a Celebrity Poker Showdown table, they'd be thrown for a loop by the sheer chaos of it. This would definitely test that theory.

As Richard says, you won't "see that kind of play on the Travel Channel."

First off, "Evil" Willie Garson, aka "Friend of Satan," is back. Those of you who remember all the way back to Tournament 1 know Willie knocked out every single player at the very first CPS table, including Ben Affleck and Don Cheadle, creating the very first villain in the tournament's history and a great character (not to mention a really great story when he was struck down at the championship table by Paul "The Card Rack" Rudd).

Willie is joined by another character, Dave Navarro, whom I've nicknamed "Scary Dave" for a reason you can probably guess. Despite the fact that Navarro's former band, Jane's Addiction, is the musical team responsible for my own poker theme, I'm still not one for the whole tattooed-rocker genre. Still, that can work to someone's advantage, and we know this game is more about who you play than what you have.

Jerry O'Connell is the first to go when he matches his K-Q against, of all people, Jennie Garth holding a pair of jacks. The board goes 5-8-7-3-A and fails to do anything but give Jerry a nice comfy seat on the Losers' Lounge couch. I, meanwhile, am still having "Beverly Hills 90210" flashbacks and thinking "Evil Willie" is still being the sarcastic friend of Satan we remember him as.

Once again, though, fate was not kind to the Dark Lord, as he was kicked out by Richard's A-3. It seems the people whose reputations precede them are dropping out pretty quickly this time around. That and I realize that since I picked him to win, I still can't figure out the end of these things.

"Scary Dave" takes care of Jennie with A-J versus K-Q on a meaningless board of 3-9-6-10-8. Let's take a moment to think about this, shall we? "Evil Willie" Garson can't kick anyone out, and we're down to "Scary Dave" and Richard Kind from "Spin City" of all people? What kind of backward universe are we living in?

Scarily enough, though, although Richard earlier shoves his face into the hole cam's range and then proclaims himself to be the new nightmare of children under 12, it's "Scary Dave" who carries the day.

Dave matches his K-10 against Richard's 5-6. The flop goes Q-10-4 to give Dave a pair of 10's, and then as if to add insult to injury, another 10 comes on the turn. "Scary Dave" Navarro has actually won the first game of Tournament 3. The man who I wondered, "What the heck is he doing here?" has actually managed to win the event.

From now on, I'm going to quit picking winners and just go with the person who terrifies me.

My one question on the night: when did the Cingular Wireless prize pool become the Celebrity Poker Showdown prize pool? Ah, the "business" part of show business I'll never quite get.

All in all, this is a great, funny start to a new round of Celebrity Poker Showdown. Don't miss next week, as my boy Ron Livingston can get revenge for his heads-up beat against Paul Rudd in Tournament One, since Paul's not even in this tournament -- he just has to beat four other people first. And no matter how crazy I am, I think he can do it. You'll just have to wait and see.

Shuffle up and deal -- it can't get here soon enough.