Tittle's top ten: Ways to get fired

Face it. At least for a while, it's a buyer's market when it comes to hiring and firing. Here are some sure-fire ways to stand out from the crowd when management decides who will stay and who will go:

1. Use the office phones and Internet access for lots of personal use; after all, you have a life too. And when you talk with your friends, use the speakerphone so you'll have your hands free to shop online.
   
2. Take public credit for your co-workers ideas. And regularly question your boss's ideas -- publicly.
   
3. Complain loudly and often to co-workers about the company instead of suggesting improvements. It's very therapeutic.
   
4. Tell customers what you really think about the company. And don't forget online chat rooms for spreading the word.
   
5. Summer is meant to be enjoyed, so come in late and leave early, especially on Fridays and Mondays.
   
6. Leave copies of your resume on the printer and post your resume online. Your boss probably never looks anyway.
   
7. Take home massive amounts of office supplies. You bring home work sometimes; and anyway, that's why the company buys so much.
   
8. Inflate your experience and your salary on your resume (the company may use a security firm to verify information).
   
9. Enjoy your weekend. And then spend most of Monday going from office to office telling your co-workers about it.
   
10. Refuse to buy Girl Scout cookies from your boss's daughter. After all, today's the first day of your diet.