Without my mother

To night I had a moment of light
I saw life in front of my eyes
It was just so bright
It inspired me to struggle
To continue my life
And win the fight
But that flash thoughts soon flashed away
And flashed my hopes down under my grave
To the place I fear most
It's controlling my mind like a slave
What can I do to feel free again?
What can I say to feel that this is not happening?
Do I be what I am and act myself?
Or do I pretend what they want and act brave
This is not the life I wanted to live
This is not the person I wanted to be
Am being somebody else
And I feel that all the fingers are pointing at me
All the eyes are staring at me
I want to find I want to see
Someone else who can feel like me
I want to be free
This pain in my chest is killing me
Someone bring a knife
Just kill me softly
Release my soul
Have mercy on me
What have I done to deserve this?
Why do I have to live in loneliness?
Where is the smile the love the happy days
The days of my childhood I want my happiness
Where is my mom who used to feed me love?
Am yelling her name come back to me I miss your kiss
I miss your worm hug your clothes your dress
I miss your pretty smile that you draw on your lips
The life is killing me I need you here to guard my steps
Am all by myself here cornered in dark
No one to help me swimming with sharks
All the worlds' pain is on my shoulders
I feel am going to break I can’t stand much longer
Every one tells me to carry on
But they don’t really know what's going on
Where is the hope some one tell me
I hear the echo tells me the hope is gone