Suicide Attempt
I wrote this after being hospitalized for intentional overdose on sleeping pills.
I chose the bathroom as a safe place to commit a crime. It was a quiet night. Nobody would even think that this was going to happen. Yes, I planned it, or maybe I should say that I prepared myself. To die. I was about to take my only and precious life.
Why?
You’ll ask what I felt like. I felt angry. Enormous anger would squeeze the sour juice of tears from me like a juicer would do to a lemon. I was immersed in my sorrow as I was screaming at loud, calling my mother and begging her for forgiveness. She couldn’t hear me, nobody could. The only being that was present there was my reflection in the mirror.
I took some time to say good bye to this fragile, emotionally sprained creature, which wouldn’t stop staring at me with these wide opened eyes that only terror can cause. Then I felt tenderness.
How can I do this to you, my darling? Shouldn’t I love you? Shouldn’t you be my pride?
What happened? What happened to you? Babe, you seem so lost. Was life unfair to you?
But who could predict it? I swear I thought you would make it. I swear I thought you were special and I still think the same, no matter what you do. If you choose to die I will understand for I was there with you when nobody else was, so shut your mouth who dares to judge you. Don’t worry about it! It doesn’t matter anyway. If I won’t see you anymore then you should know that I love you, they didn’t. But only because they didn’t get to know you the way I did. Good-bye! Good-bye to you! You will be missed. And the crime was done.
Later on the red lights and the hoot of the hooter accompanied me as I was reaching what would become my final destiny? I knew that they wouldn’t let me go so easily. Indeed, they did everything possible to keep me alive. They even locked me up for a long period of time so I wouldn’t hurt myself anymore.
Why am I telling you all this? Because you asked me to. And what’s significant about it? I learned to fight for my life.
http://www.topyoufashion.com
Why?
You’ll ask what I felt like. I felt angry. Enormous anger would squeeze the sour juice of tears from me like a juicer would do to a lemon. I was immersed in my sorrow as I was screaming at loud, calling my mother and begging her for forgiveness. She couldn’t hear me, nobody could. The only being that was present there was my reflection in the mirror.
I took some time to say good bye to this fragile, emotionally sprained creature, which wouldn’t stop staring at me with these wide opened eyes that only terror can cause. Then I felt tenderness.
How can I do this to you, my darling? Shouldn’t I love you? Shouldn’t you be my pride?
What happened? What happened to you? Babe, you seem so lost. Was life unfair to you?
But who could predict it? I swear I thought you would make it. I swear I thought you were special and I still think the same, no matter what you do. If you choose to die I will understand for I was there with you when nobody else was, so shut your mouth who dares to judge you. Don’t worry about it! It doesn’t matter anyway. If I won’t see you anymore then you should know that I love you, they didn’t. But only because they didn’t get to know you the way I did. Good-bye! Good-bye to you! You will be missed. And the crime was done.
Later on the red lights and the hoot of the hooter accompanied me as I was reaching what would become my final destiny? I knew that they wouldn’t let me go so easily. Indeed, they did everything possible to keep me alive. They even locked me up for a long period of time so I wouldn’t hurt myself anymore.
Why am I telling you all this? Because you asked me to. And what’s significant about it? I learned to fight for my life.
http://www.topyoufashion.com
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