Death by chocolate

The BBC reports: Cadbury has recalled more than a million chocolate bars over fears they could be contaminated with salmonella. But how do you dispose of that many bars?

Well, there are a few options like, taking off all of the wrappers and burying them. Cadbury’s have said if they go with this option it is imperative that the locations are kept secret for fear of children digging them up and eating them.

The one I like best is dropping all 250 tons of salmonella infected chocolate onto the Taliban in Afghanistan and insurgent strong holds in Iraq. Ok, Cadbury’s aren’t actually considering this, it’s my idea, but I think they ought to give it some thought. Think of it, even deranged murdering lunatics love a bit of chockie, how can they resist.

Within 24 hours the insurgents will have a severe case of the sheites. All the coalition forces have to do is swoop into karzies across Iraq and dense bush land slopes of the Afghan hills and catch them with their pants down.

There you have it, peace in the region. Not thanks to diplomacy or military strategic planning but a truck load of dodgy chocolate.

Eric Walton, a consultant in environmental engineering and management said "It would be a shame to bury it in a landfill as it will ferment and produce greenhouse gases. Putting it to good use would be a much better idea." Ok point taken. If burying it is bad for the environment why not give it to Jade Goody. That should keep her quite for an hour.