Tea

1. It's official - if you want the perfect cup of tea, you have to pour the milk in the cup first, BBC Radio 4's Today programme exclusively revealed this morning.

2. According to Loughborough University's Dr Andrew Stapley (who has lectured on tea for three years, so he should know), if you pour milk into a cup of boiling hot tea, you risk "denaturing" the milk proteins and ending up with a stale taste.

3. To avoid vulgar slurping, advises Dr Tea, drinkers should sup their brew at between 60 and 65C.

4. Dr Stapley also stipulates that soft water must be used, the pot must be warmed, and the tea allowed to brew for three minutes. Loose-leaf Assam tea is best, concluded his two-month study. (His report on how best octogenarian ladies should suck eggs will be published later this year.)

5. In recent years, Britain's tea drinkers have discovered that tea is not necessarily advertised by chimps and does not have to be a deep mahogany in colour. Oh no. Tea is also available in green - and it's good for you.

6. Don't get confused by those herbal teas, which come in all sorts of colours. Karl Marx, by the way, only drank herbal tea. (He thought all proper tea was theft.)

7. Writer and tea-lover George Orwell, who was born 100 years ago tomorrow, famously disagreed with Dr Stapley about the milk thing.

8. In fact, what with its role in the American revolution and all, this supposedly calming beverage can stir up a lot of emotions.

9. Anyone with any further questions, disagreements or diatribes on tea-making, please consult the excellent Tea Man for arbitration purposes, and maybe consider laying off the caffeine.

10. But all in all, It's a bit of a storm in a teacup, if you ask me.