The Big "C"

Hey-
Long time
So I had a big health scare recently
The big "C"
I'm here scratching my bald head thinking
Well
It can't be children
I have natural birth control
So I said
"Doc IF it is cancer-
I don't need chemo again-
I am already bald"
He nodded his head and I said
"And if I need radiation they better leave me with a tan-
Because this IS Palm SPrings for crepes sake.
I have to tell you it is not easy being a bald man these days
in Palm Springs being bald without money
must like be like being gay without any sense of fashion
It's hard for bald men to date- much less get married
Isn't baldness usually a side-effect of marriage?
Maybe along with children?
So no bald man has a chance.
We know women are going
"oh he is so nice, and kind, and responsible and reliable and stable and he opens the door and we get along great but-
...well I couldn't handle having bald children.
And I'd be freaked having a pregnant wife
besides the fact I've come out
it just isn't safe
She can't eat the tune because of the mercury
and the fear of giving birth to a thermometer
"Oh my- what a beautiful baby-
that wonderfully round head-
oh is he blushing or does he have a fever?"
Life can be scary
I got out of the shower the other evening
was getting ready to go out and do a set
when I looked in the mirror
My heart stopped and I said "Holy Sh!t- were did the baby come from"
I saw my high forehead
my conjoined twin ( at the stomach)
and the ah, uh the cold draft from the air conditioning
And I was thinking-
Man it would be nice to be a baby again
all codependent and needy
But
Who would have me? << I can only tolerate myself because I am medicated
I'm surprised my ex didn't pass any sooner
But I guess he had to pay some of it back
Well I'm better now
Of course the question about what the big C is
I don't know yet-
guess it's Chance for now

Thanks - don't hesitate to comment on any of my articles