Forgiveness : Precondition of Love

"If we practice and eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, soon the whole world will be blind and toothless." - Mahatma Gandhi

Forgiveness is the act of excusing a mistake or offense in simple words.

Forgiveness is a survival of human being. Humanity has a long tradition of revenge, retaliation, and pre-emptive defense, only rarely meeting hatred and attack with love and forbearance. It is precisely the rarity of the quality of forgiveness which gives it value; causes us to admire those few individuals courageous enough to display it; and inspires us to follow their example.

Jainism stresses the importance of forgiveness for community well being. It is more important to forgive than to ask for forgiveness. We need to forgive others, not because they need our forgiveness. It is because we need to release ourselves from the rage, hostility and resentment we carry within us when we don’t forgive.

Why to forgive?

It sets you free!
Forgiveness is not a sense of false humility that makes us better than somebody else. It is an attitude that sets us free, so that we are not continually re-victimized by our wounds.

Don’t get you trapped.
There is a penalty for not granting forgiveness. The penalty we experience is the hurt that remains trapped within us, which rots a portion of our body, mind and soul daily. In order to heal ourselves of the wounds inflicted upon us we must be willing to forgive those who hurt us, totally and unconditionally. It does not mean that we must go and tell them that they are forgiven.

Makes world beautiful
Forgiveness not only makes us whole once again, it energizes us and makes our world more beautiful that ever. Forgiveness isn’t about letting him or her off the hook… it’s about taking the knife out of your soul". When it comes to forgiveness, it is far better to have a small amount of the real thing than massive quantities of the fake stuff.

Lessons from forgiveness
"Many people are afraid to forgive because they feel they must remember the wrong or they will not learn from it. The opposite is true. Through forgiveness, the wrong is released from its emotional stranglehold on us so that we can learn from it. Through the power and intelligence of the heart, the release of forgiveness brings expanded intelligence to work with the situation more effectively" says McArthur

Your body and forgiveness
Forgiving is good for the body as well as for the soul. Reliving past hurts over and over again is bad for your health. Simply remembering an incident that made a person angry has proved to be stressful for the heart. Negative feelings that cause stress have also been linked to high blood pressure, coronary artery disease and increased susceptibility to other illnesses.

Forgiveness is not to teach !
Sincere forgiveness isn't colored with expectations that the other person apologizes or change. Don't worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time—just like it does for you and me. - Sara Paddison, Hidden Power of the Heart

Stages of Forgiveness

Stage I: Preventive form of Forgiveness
Since forgiveness is difficult for us, let us concentrate on animosity prevention. Let us constantly maintain friendly relations with all. Let us clarify misunderstandings right away. Let us not let the knot get stronger. Let us be sensitive to the feelings of other individuals and exercise humility.

Stage II: Passive Forgiveness (Forgiveness involving indifference -Live and let live philosophy)
If we did not succeed in preventing animosity/strained relationship, let us do our best to resolve the situation. If we fail at least let us put ourselves in a passive mode. In this mode of behavior, the other person is not your friend, nor is he your enemy. We may not be even on speaking terms with the other person. But let us never speak ill of him/her and always offer our prayers and sympathy. Let us remember that just because we could not get along with the other person does not mean that he/she is a bad person.

Stage III: Active form of forgiveness
This is the best form of forgiveness. This would involve not striking back even if someone has harmed you. It entails loving your enemies. This is the highest form of forgiveness. This is what the religions of the world are asking us to strive for and this is what was preached and actively practiced by Lord Mahavir, Jesus Christ, and many other religious leaders. Their legacy is the following beautiful words which people remember even after about 2000 years.

Forgiveness in Holistic Words

Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despiteful use you, and persecute you...Jesus Christ

Father, forgive them..they know not what they are doing...Jesus Christ

I forgive all souls, let all souls forgive me. I have friendship with all and enmity towards none........ Jain Scripture

If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa