General: The essence of coaching while being a parent

"That was a (deleted profanity) shot."

These were the words of one parent on Memorial Day Weekend after his daughter kicked the ball out of bounds on a pass.

There, in fact, was no shot at all, and yet this parent decided it was okay to berate his daughter into sadness and worse play.

When I grow up and have kids, I know exactly how I am going to treat my kids when they are on the field.

I will be paying so much money for a coach to make my child a better player, that when they make one simple little mistake, I am definitely going to break out the whip.

Each mistake will equal five whips, and then that will make my son play better, right?

My son will never make any mistakes again, because after I yell at him so much for one tiny, insignificant mistake, he will be in so much fear that every time he touches the ball he will trap it perfectly.

He will then lift his head up, look at three different options, always pick the one that is the best, and then on a dime, lay the ball at his teammates better foot.

His teammate will do the same thing, and so on, all because I yelled at my child more than all of the other parents.

My child is going to be the best player -- ever.

The reason for this is because Tiger Woods' father made him the best, so my son will be the best. Maybe mine even will be the best at two or three sports, because I am going to crack the whip down every chance I get.

Yes, that was all sarcasm, however, sadly, this is the way some parents are beginning to think now, and it is not a good thing to think about at all.

I hope no parent is taking it so far as to whip their child, but this country is a very big country with some whackos out there.

I know from the experience of having my father as a real coach (he coached 35 seasons at Yale University as the head soccer and tennis coach) that I hope I will be able to handle myself on the sideline when my son or daughter makes mistake after mistake on a bad day.

I have watched my father cringe at the sight of a horrible first touch, an easy backhand volley that missed by five feet. Instead of yelling at me during the competition, I will get in the car, and although I have not once heard that I played a flawless game, he always tells it to me as it was.

He will point out the good things that I did, and then he will go through the list of sometimes thousands of mistakes that I made, but rather than my father getting upset at my poor play, those car rides back home are sometimes the best things for me.

I was told how I maybe could have beaten my defender a little differently, how to go into a tackle harder, how to hold onto a 5-1 lead better rather than losing the set 7-5.

In a game against Rye Country day, I played a horrid first half and the score at half time was 0-0.

The second half saw me score four goals, absolutely the best half of soccer I have ever played, but when I was on my way to the locker room to change and get on the bus, my father decided to walk with me and while I got great praise for my second half, he helped me realize what I could have done better in the first half and dwelled on that.

I know there are parents who are hoping their dreams will come true through the lives of their child, but it is not always necessary to yell, scream, jump up and down, and simply just act like an out of control parent.

There are other ways to help out your kid.

Instead of breaking out the whip, talk to you son or daughter, tell them how you really felt, but make sure that instead of berating the entire time, there are helpful hints about how to possibly do it better the next time when the same situation comes up again.

Speaking from experience, it much to better to receive constructive criticism that to receive no helpful hints.