Conception: Preparing for Pregnancy

My friend just came to know she had conceived. Since she had been planning on a family for a few months, it was no wonder that she and her man were overjoyed. They were finally going to have a baby of their own. The initial reaction of visions in blue (or pink), soft, tender bundles of sweet smelling, cuddly, baby fat were floating on the horizon.

Then the time came for ground realities. They had the first look at their six - week old fetus. Uugghhh…it looked like something from outer space, or worse still, something the cat brought in and forgot to take out. One lousy little lump of developing flesh, with four tiny, misshapen buds (where the arms and legs would develop), an odd looking appendage that would be head, and …a TAIL. Their cuddly pastel shaded dreams became very tainted with reality, if not came crashing down altogether. This, then, was their baby. Dr. Spock had been right. A baby is not just a dream, it is a flesh and blood person. Who will give you morning sickness for three months of your hopeful life, and make you feel like you are lugging around your monthly groceries on your belly for the six months thereafter. The radiant glow that you acquire on hearing the news is soon replaced by that sallow, fatigued look, when your back hurts and your feet are swollen twenty out of twenty four hours of the day. Endless exhaustion, vomiting and a bad digestion tops the list.

Most of us find it difficult to relate those ultrasound images to real life creatures.

After the birth is when the life actually starts. Between endless feeds and sleepless nights, there is the cuddly bundle for comfort, never mind is it is the cause of all the discomfort.

How many of us, in our generation are actually brought up to be parents? Most of the working youth who will become parents, will imbibe nothing of the patience our mothers showed because they had all the time in the world to look after us. They will not be able to pat their spluttering baby’s cheek lovingly like their moms did, cooking only what they want. Then what do we lack that our mothers had, is it maternal instinct?

My guess would be that we do not lack anything, but our priorities are different. Making a home and nurturing a family is not a national obsession anymore, and a family man is not the politically correct national image. Women can be great career persons too, and not being a mom does not take away from their life. Enough work and a great pay package can do wonders to their lives, and tending to babies who will one day make them proud does not top the list of their dreams and ambitions.

Has it also got something to do with our fear of upsetting our comfortable routine? We would not like all the physical discomfort and inconveniences that go into making a baby, let alone welcome them with open arms. The disruptions a baby will create in their professional life is another very important factor.
So the crux of the matter is, are we as good procreators as our parents were? Would we like to have one child? Let alone planning a family? How have our family values changed? If yes, is this a healthy lifestyle? Or is it a healthier lifestyle than our previous generation?

In many countries, population is the root cause of all troubles. This kind of a thinking process would benefit those countries, but then, the class of people that form the bulk of these populations are those who place great premium on procreation.

Whatever it may be, the process of having a baby has never been more interesting, now one can actually see those ugly buds grow into graceful arms and legs, that little lumpy protrusion become a brainy head and that Tail, disappear. Then, in no time, its porridge and stewed apples, and before you know it, its time for " I don’t like Spinach". Followed by" Why am I not as pretty as Jane?" or " Why doesn’t Jane love me". Whether we like it or not, we shall have to take time out of our busy lives, and pat that anxious cheek..motherhood starts at minus 34 weeks and continues for a lifetime!!!!