Sibling Rivalry

Myths Solved

Familiarity breeds contempt. This could not have been more true than in our age! Kids of the same age tend to mingle and form a bond of sorts. Many of us believe that while the formation of a family is a good feeling to nurture, it’s a common tendency for any of us to develop certain feelings towards people. Many a times, the popular ones come afore. Like love and jealousy for example. While most parents believe that a wider gap amongst siblings is good for their growth, a greater gap may not be that great an idea! It is a common belief that a gap of three to five years would be ideal to be maintained. With the increase in the standard of living, it’s a little impossible at times to have many mouths to feed, especially when nutrition is of utmost importance during the formative years. Research seems to prove that contrary to what we think, a greater gap amongst children only deepens the feeling of utmost rivalry that is almost diabolic amongst kids. The reason being that the greater the gap, the larger is the scope for questions to pour in.

Shocking Waves

It’s quite shocking to note that 25- 30 percent of kids with higher age gap actually suffer from massive pangs of Sibling Rivalry. Most of the time, these kids have either spent most of their time in hostels that keep them away from their parents, or have received nothing short of a culture shock to for the unplanned pregnancies. For siblings with as much as an 8-10 year gap, the findings have been disastrous. The amount of jealousy supersedes the feeling of affection, as the great time lapse for the elder one, who has received all the attention for so long, has to be suddenly divided with another younger one. In some cases these children have to be sent to psychiatrists for therapy. Kids all have this innate and inborn tendency to feel jealous. Without the appropriate guidance and understanding, a sudden change in the environment may cause the elder child to at times even consider grave consequences. There have been various cases of kids reaching a point of strangulation for his / her sibling.

It’s therefore important for parents to note that when they do plan families, they need to bear in mind large doses of understanding sessions wherein a surprise pregnancy may not be so drastic for the other child. Children after all regress to their earlier beings when faced with serious situations like these. Most of the remand homes, however well equipped cannot repair the void that lack of parental affection may bring in.

Psychiatrists believe that when a child is in a state of shock, it is easier to bring him out of this, as against a teenager who has to face the arrival of a sibling when he had least expected it. Fear however volatile, can manifest itself into dangerous repercussions that would require professional help. We on our part can alter or remove this from our kids by being aware of the joys and perils of family planning. It’s another thing to make yourselves adjusted to a new member and quite another for an elder one to accept the fact that his attention will now be hugely divided from him henceforth.

Though there are many who have ensured that there is no dearth of love in the family, we shall always suggest that "Prevention is better than Cure!" After all, it’s all in the family and family values go a really long way in life! We’d hope for the best, but in case there is an occurrence of any untoward incident, then it’s better to be equipped with the accurate professional help. Some food for thought! I’ll say!