Hadley Freeman: American Pie in the Sky
Why do British celebs think a bit of weight loss and a makeover will bring success in the US? What does it take, ladies, to make it in the US? Hair straighteners, a thorough wax and pluck, concealer and, naturally, a hefty weight loss. Well, that seems to be the thinking of British female celebrities whose aspirations turn westwards.
What does it take, ladies, to make it in the US? Hair straighteners, a thorough wax and pluck, concealer and, naturally, a hefty weight loss. Well, that seems to be the thinking of British female celebrities whose aspirations turn westwards.
Last week, tabloids were sniggeringly pointing out the similarities between Victoria Beckham and Liz Hurley's wardrobes, claiming that the former was copying the latter. Seasoned celebrity watchers, however, saw a different subtext: this was merely a case of the two simultaneously adopting the familiar uniform for British celebrities aiming for America. Geri Halliwell, Minnie Driver, Catherine Zeta Jones, Kate Winslet - all sleeked and slimmed themselves down in preparation for their American assaults. It's rather reminiscent of going to one's first grown-up party, but instead of trowelling on the blue eyeshadow topped off with a spritz of Anais Anais, these women reach for the hair straighteners and the most recent edition of Dr Atkins's diet book.
Leaving aside for a moment whether such a transformation is necessary for international adulation, it does suggest a fabulously dated view of American women. Blow-dried hair? Oversized sunglasses? Leather catsuits? It's as if the Brits were looking back to the American icons of their youth - Barbie, Dynasty's Sammy Jo, Demi Moore circa St Elmo's Fire - and just took away the shoulder pads.
This idea of getting dressed up for America suggests that celebrity fame in Britain is seen as but a paddle in the shallow end, whereas American success, still synonymous with international acclaim, is a proper plunge. Moreover, this dolling up for the States suggests that in the UK a woman can attain paparazzi approval even if she looks like Nora Batty because, cor blimey, we're British, eccentric and don't care about exfoliation nonsense. In fact, the opposite may be true. Geri was a national joke here until she lightened her hair and stopped eating bread, and few knew of Hurley's existence until she wore a dress made out of safety pins.
British celebrity magazines are littered (and that word is being used advisedly here) with photos of women like Hurley and Beckham, whose sole contributions to the UK public's pleasure is their visibly high-maintenance beauty regimes. And although the expectations of what makes a woman admirable in America could not really be described as "relaxed", the pattern is not quite so established: actresses such as Jennifer Aniston and Renee Zellwegger started out looking (relatively) normal, waiting until they were famous before they headed for an overhaul.
This may not be an ideal state of affairs, but at least it suggests that conforming to a homogenous kind of female beauty is not the requisite and failsafe key to American success that the Brits seem to think, and that any aspiring celebrity who puts so much effort into their appearance from the off will make people wonder whether she has any other selling points. Given that Misses Hurley and Beckham are two ladies whose precise talents are, shall we say, as yet to be ascertained, their donning of this familiar uniform could be seen as a helpful nudge, a sartorial signifier, alerting the US market that they are aiming for public recognition, even if they have little else but themselves to offer the public.
Needless to say, British male celebrities rarely feel under similar obligation to overhaul themselves for the American market, secure instead that their foppish charm (Hugh Grant) and good looks (Jude Law) will work abroad. Although, having said that, this worm may indeed be turning: Ralph Fiennes and Ewan MacGregor have both recently modelled in fashion shoots for American magazines. Darlings, really!
But do these makeovers actually work? Well, Geri - despite losing so much weight that she began to resemble Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone - saw her TV show cancelled due to low ratings. Minnie Driver - despite the requisite straightened hair - has announced that she is returning to Britain because, she claims, she can't get a date in America (which does suggest that the much-vaunted all-round efficacy of blow dries are somewhat overstated). Catherine Zeta Jones, meanwhile, has wisely opted out of the whole malarkey by marrying into a Hollywood dynasty - a sturdier form of support while climbing the ladder for American appeal than just getting a good eyebrow pluck - and has happily returned to her curvy figure.
As for Hurley and Beckham: well, Hurley did cause a brief flicker of interest last year, but only during her paternity squabbles with her American ex. Things looked like they were going better for Posh when she was invited to be the special guest of American Vogue's editor Anna Wintour at a New York party last month. But she was pointedly not photographed by any of the US newspapers - the cruellest slight indeed for an aspiring celeb. Three weeks ago, though, Beckham did make it on to the drooling front page of USA Today. Unfortunately, for Victoria - and her stylist, trainer, dietician, etc - the Beckham in question was David. Contrary to popular perception, for real success you still need to have talent that is more than skin deep.
Last week, tabloids were sniggeringly pointing out the similarities between Victoria Beckham and Liz Hurley's wardrobes, claiming that the former was copying the latter. Seasoned celebrity watchers, however, saw a different subtext: this was merely a case of the two simultaneously adopting the familiar uniform for British celebrities aiming for America. Geri Halliwell, Minnie Driver, Catherine Zeta Jones, Kate Winslet - all sleeked and slimmed themselves down in preparation for their American assaults. It's rather reminiscent of going to one's first grown-up party, but instead of trowelling on the blue eyeshadow topped off with a spritz of Anais Anais, these women reach for the hair straighteners and the most recent edition of Dr Atkins's diet book.
Leaving aside for a moment whether such a transformation is necessary for international adulation, it does suggest a fabulously dated view of American women. Blow-dried hair? Oversized sunglasses? Leather catsuits? It's as if the Brits were looking back to the American icons of their youth - Barbie, Dynasty's Sammy Jo, Demi Moore circa St Elmo's Fire - and just took away the shoulder pads.
This idea of getting dressed up for America suggests that celebrity fame in Britain is seen as but a paddle in the shallow end, whereas American success, still synonymous with international acclaim, is a proper plunge. Moreover, this dolling up for the States suggests that in the UK a woman can attain paparazzi approval even if she looks like Nora Batty because, cor blimey, we're British, eccentric and don't care about exfoliation nonsense. In fact, the opposite may be true. Geri was a national joke here until she lightened her hair and stopped eating bread, and few knew of Hurley's existence until she wore a dress made out of safety pins.
British celebrity magazines are littered (and that word is being used advisedly here) with photos of women like Hurley and Beckham, whose sole contributions to the UK public's pleasure is their visibly high-maintenance beauty regimes. And although the expectations of what makes a woman admirable in America could not really be described as "relaxed", the pattern is not quite so established: actresses such as Jennifer Aniston and Renee Zellwegger started out looking (relatively) normal, waiting until they were famous before they headed for an overhaul.
This may not be an ideal state of affairs, but at least it suggests that conforming to a homogenous kind of female beauty is not the requisite and failsafe key to American success that the Brits seem to think, and that any aspiring celebrity who puts so much effort into their appearance from the off will make people wonder whether she has any other selling points. Given that Misses Hurley and Beckham are two ladies whose precise talents are, shall we say, as yet to be ascertained, their donning of this familiar uniform could be seen as a helpful nudge, a sartorial signifier, alerting the US market that they are aiming for public recognition, even if they have little else but themselves to offer the public.
Needless to say, British male celebrities rarely feel under similar obligation to overhaul themselves for the American market, secure instead that their foppish charm (Hugh Grant) and good looks (Jude Law) will work abroad. Although, having said that, this worm may indeed be turning: Ralph Fiennes and Ewan MacGregor have both recently modelled in fashion shoots for American magazines. Darlings, really!
But do these makeovers actually work? Well, Geri - despite losing so much weight that she began to resemble Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone - saw her TV show cancelled due to low ratings. Minnie Driver - despite the requisite straightened hair - has announced that she is returning to Britain because, she claims, she can't get a date in America (which does suggest that the much-vaunted all-round efficacy of blow dries are somewhat overstated). Catherine Zeta Jones, meanwhile, has wisely opted out of the whole malarkey by marrying into a Hollywood dynasty - a sturdier form of support while climbing the ladder for American appeal than just getting a good eyebrow pluck - and has happily returned to her curvy figure.
As for Hurley and Beckham: well, Hurley did cause a brief flicker of interest last year, but only during her paternity squabbles with her American ex. Things looked like they were going better for Posh when she was invited to be the special guest of American Vogue's editor Anna Wintour at a New York party last month. But she was pointedly not photographed by any of the US newspapers - the cruellest slight indeed for an aspiring celeb. Three weeks ago, though, Beckham did make it on to the drooling front page of USA Today. Unfortunately, for Victoria - and her stylist, trainer, dietician, etc - the Beckham in question was David. Contrary to popular perception, for real success you still need to have talent that is more than skin deep.
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