David Stern pines for me

First, I'll start by saying that I'm not, nor ever have I been a fan of the NBA. Strangely enough, I love basketball. Heck, when the "Road to the Final Four" begins, not even my psycho-stalking ex-girlfriend can find me (this is sincerely saying something).

This had usually prompted new friends of mine to ask "so, why don't you like the NBA? You like basketball." First and foremost, this is like assuming you enjoy eating horse turds because you like eating ice cream. Sure, they're both food, but dramatically different. I suppose the more fair comparison would be assuming someone likes (pardon, liked) the XFL because they like football. I think you see where I'm coming from here.

My answer to these newbies would usually be that I "A-few-good-men-I-strenuously-object" to the defensive rules that the NBA had in tact at the time: no zone, only man-to-man. Listen -- that isn't basketball. If my defensive strategy is five guys playing paddy-cake at the far side of the court, I should be allowed to do it. If it's ineffective, I'll change. This objection, when spelled out to the curious, usually resound with a "Okay... yeah, you've got a point there."

Well, the NBA either wanted to change itself for the better, or just really wanted a shot at me being a fan sometime down the road. I'll assume it's the latter; as I'm ridiculously self-centered.

They changed the rules. You can play zone now. Heck, any defense you want.

I still haven't watched a game from start to finish. I might not change SportsCenter when the NBA highlights come on, but I certainly don't consider myself a fan yet.

So, I got to thinking... why do I LOVE college hoops so much (including the Final Four), and hate the NBA so much (including the NBA playoffs), especially since the NBA broke down the Berlin wall of defense?

It comes down to two simple things:

1. If an NBA team loses a regular season game, it doesn't mean squat. It's a painfully long season where one win or loss infrequently makes a lick of difference. If an NBA team loses a playoff game, they still have several more ahead of them. It's not over. There's always a tomorrow. In the NCAA's, in the regular season it can mean the difference of whether or not you even play for the championship. Come back tomorrow? Fat chance. Get it done today or go home tomorrow.

2. There are generally the same guys on every team every year. Yes, I know they have free-agency. Yes, I know that they have a draft. But really, how much have the Lakers changed since 2000? The great thing about college hoops is that teams evolve and change over time. Many of you may be in the same position I've been in -- at team you've routed against last year you find yourself routing for this year. How often has that happened to you NBA fans?

As simple as my issues were, the solutions are even more so.

1. Shorten the season to 25 games. Honestly, it's okay. I don't know anyone that would have a serious issue with going from 82 games to 25. If your favorite team was in a close game, you would ACTUALLY WATCH. Even NBA fans of mine will flip off a game to catch a movie on HBO that they think might not be on again tomorrow.

2. Everyone gets a one-year contract, except for your three franchise players. Same as it is now, players can hold out, etc., and refuse to play if they think their contracts are unfair. Here's the real kicker -- a team only gets to hold on to three players each year, for a period of no longer than three years. The rest of the team goes into the NBA draft along with all of the high school wonders and college players entering the draft.

Don't give me that "well how do I connect with my team when they're always changing?" crap. I've got news for you: There's really only about three guys on any team that matters anyway, so why not move the rest of the stuff around? The studs will be on one team for at least three years, then have the opportunity to either throw themselves back in the draft, or stay with their current club. Besides, sports were meant to connect you with your community. Saddle up and support the home squad, sport.

Can you imagine how exciting this would make things? Every club -- and I mean EVERY club would start the year out thinking (and rightfully so that they have a legitimate shot of winning the title. The playing field is level, and anything can happen in any given game -- just look at Nevada's run in the NCAA's this year if you'd like some proof.

Well, there you have it Stern. You changed one rule for me, all you have to do is change a couple more. That, and dinner and a movie.