End It Tonight

Please I beg of you

Stop these suicidal thoughts

There ruining me

There closing in on me

I think there going to kill

Please don’t let them do this

I want to live

Really I don’t want to be this way

Stop these scars appearing

Make my mind think happy thoughts

Turn me into a girl who loves life...

Don’t stress it’s just a phase

Oh how I wish it was that simple

Wish away all the pain

Wish away all these dreadful scars

If only

I wonder how I ended up like this

The people around me

The family gene

Or possibly too much time alone?

I thought about the drugs

Maybe they will make me better

I think that was a bad idea

How do I stop being like this?

There’s no switch to turn it on and off

It’s just me...

I asked the doctor what’s wrong with me

He didn’t say much

It’s just me I’ll get over it

Pile me up on drugs to make a quick escape

Get me out of the house.

Look at the smile upon my face

Wonderfully fake

Maybe if I decided to live

I could become an actress

I do so well that no one notices me

No one knows what happens when I’m in my room

Doors shut, curtains pulled down

Out come the razors

Stained from all the other days

Today will be no different...

As I sit here typing many things are on my mind

Friends that I care about to much

The holidays drawing to a close

My fellow students ready to start the pain

And my family

What will I do this year to impress them

Will I do well in my math test?

And will I pass my first exams?

All these make me wonder is it really worth it

Can I achieve anything in this life

That will create a better person

I will never know if I quit right here right now.

I made a promise

Not to end it all tonight

I intend to keep that promise for now...