You might be a redneck if...
Read on...
You've lost a tooth opening a beer bottle.
Your bicycle has a gun rack.
After removing the empty beer cans from your car, you find you get fifteen more miles to the gallon.
Directions to your house include "turn off the paved road".
You wet the bed and four other people immediately know it.
You come back from the dump with more than you took to it.
Your wife has a set of earrings that you use as a fishing lure.
Your talent in the local beauty pageant was making noises with your armpit.
You've worn a tube top to a wedding.
The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
You are allowed to bring your dog to work.
You actually know what kind of leaves make the best substitute for toilet paper.
Your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
The neighbors have ever asked to borrow a light bulb.
Your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
You have a rag for a gas cap.
You've vacationed in a rest area.
You hold a frog and it worries about getting warts.
You have to take the entire day off to get your teeth cleaned.
You've lost your wife in a poker game.
You offer to give somebody the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
Your belt buckle is bigger than your head.
You think paprika is a third-world country.
You refer to the fifth grade as "my senior year".
People hunt in your front yard.
Your muffler is held on by a coat hanger.
Going to the bathroom in the of middle of the night requires shoes and a flashlight.
You can take your bra off while driving.
You have more than 10 ceramic statue in your front yard.
You can burp the entire chorus of "Jingle Bells".
You give away more free puppies than the Humane Society.
Your screen door has no screen.
Your primary source of income is the pawn shop.
You prefer car keys to Q-tips.
You take a fishing pole into Sea World.
You've shot someone over a mall parking space.
People are scared to touch your bathrobe.
You've stolen clothes from a scarecrow.
You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree at the corner.
Your car has never had a full tank of gas.
Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.
You've ever been fired from a construction job due to your appearance.
Your bicycle has a gun rack.
After removing the empty beer cans from your car, you find you get fifteen more miles to the gallon.
Directions to your house include "turn off the paved road".
You wet the bed and four other people immediately know it.
You come back from the dump with more than you took to it.
Your wife has a set of earrings that you use as a fishing lure.
Your talent in the local beauty pageant was making noises with your armpit.
You've worn a tube top to a wedding.
The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
You are allowed to bring your dog to work.
You actually know what kind of leaves make the best substitute for toilet paper.
Your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
The neighbors have ever asked to borrow a light bulb.
Your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
You have a rag for a gas cap.
You've vacationed in a rest area.
You hold a frog and it worries about getting warts.
You have to take the entire day off to get your teeth cleaned.
You've lost your wife in a poker game.
You offer to give somebody the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
Your belt buckle is bigger than your head.
You think paprika is a third-world country.
You refer to the fifth grade as "my senior year".
People hunt in your front yard.
Your muffler is held on by a coat hanger.
Going to the bathroom in the of middle of the night requires shoes and a flashlight.
You can take your bra off while driving.
You have more than 10 ceramic statue in your front yard.
You can burp the entire chorus of "Jingle Bells".
You give away more free puppies than the Humane Society.
Your screen door has no screen.
Your primary source of income is the pawn shop.
You prefer car keys to Q-tips.
You take a fishing pole into Sea World.
You've shot someone over a mall parking space.
People are scared to touch your bathrobe.
You've stolen clothes from a scarecrow.
You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree at the corner.
Your car has never had a full tank of gas.
Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.
You've ever been fired from a construction job due to your appearance.
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