NBA Emmys

Ok, NBA fans. Here are this year's NBA Playoff Emmy awards from best duo in a playoff series to MVP in a playoff series.

Best Actor in a Playoff Series: Jack Nicholson

Didn't he do a great job in Game 3 of the San Antonio series? Word is that in attempt to "get into character," Nicholson spent four hours at a local bar drinking gin and tonics. What a great method actor! And then came the performance. Playing a drunken idiot with a lot of money so brilliantly that he wins this award hands down. (Honorable Mention: Kobe Bryant. Kobe deserves Honorable Mention status because of his constant complaining about calls. To gear up for his role, Kobe spent two days with Michael Jordan to learn how to properly complain when not getting a call. As one can see, Kobe's hard work has paid off as now he gets asinine foul calls, and complains like a child when he doesn't receive it. Kudos Kobe!)

Best Newcomer in a Playoff Series: Tayshaun Prince

What an amazing performance by Tayshaun Prince. This man played in less than half the season for the Pistons, and now in the playoffs he is clearly the go to guy in crunch time. A prime example of this was in last nights game in which he gave the Pistons a two point lead with less than a minute left in the game on a sick spin move.

Most Likely to go to a Rave After A Playoff Series: Dirk Nowitzki

Dirk barely beat out teammate Steve Nash for this dubious award. ESPN's Bill Simmons always comments on how he would like to see a reality show with Dirk's nightly escapades taped. Can one imagine how glorious this would be? Watching Dirk in leather pants picking up groupies in broken English would be high comedy. I can also imagine Dirk leaving the club with like four women and cramming them into a small German sports car. And then seeing Dirk wink into the camera knowing he is about to pull a Mike Price. I am also a big fan of the Dirk Goatee. If you look at my bio photo you an see that I am in the midst of growing a "Dirkesque" goatee. Dirk also takes home the award for best goatee in a playoff series.

Best Duo in a Playoff Series: The Maloof Bros.

The Maloof Bros. remind me of Mario and Luigi... only Mario and Luigi were not millionaires, and were not trying to score with hot chicks all the time. Rumor is that Gavin is dating Britney Spears! That alone wins him an award, but why best duo? Well it has became obvious to me that the "heavier" Maloof bro works as the wingman while Gavin rustles up some fine tail. Heavy Maloof keeps Britney investment banker friend occupied while Gavin takes Britney to his private sweet at the Sand's Casino in Vegas.

Best Coach in a Playoff Series: Byron Scott

Byron Scott wins this award hands down because he willed his New Jersey Nets to sweep an overmatched Celtics team. Now the Nets can sit back and watch while the Pistons and Sixers destroy each other in what looks like will be a seven game series. Byron deserves a lot of credit for not letting his team give up in the OT's in game four of that series.

Worst Coach in a Playoff Series: Rick Adelman

Granted he doesn't have Chris Webber, but he is being out-coached Don Nelson!! How is this happening? Well Don Nelson does have help on the bench. He has former NBA coaches Del Harris and Paul Silas. As well as his son. This still doesn't excuse Adelman. The Kings should have swept this series... nuff' said. After destroying the Mavs in game one they completely folded in games two and four.

Most Improved (Matured) Player in a Playoff Series: Kenyon Martin

Kenyon has matured ten fold from last season. A prime example of this was in game three of the Celtics series in which 'Toine was jawing with him and Kenyon just sat there and smiled. Last year Kenyon would have went Tommy from Goodfellas. ('Toine: "Go get your (expletive) shine box.") Also, he is a defensive machine. He tore up 'Toine and then torched him on the offensive end as well. Ben Wallace gets mad props for being a great defensive player, but Kenyon is the whole package. Plus he has overcome the "coaching" of Bob Huggins to have a successful NBA career.

Best Moment of the Playoffs: Robert Horry

Was I the only one in America how was ecstatic that Horry missed that shot? I scared the people who lived across me I was yelling so loud. To me this signifies something. A year ago Horry makes that shot, this year he doesn't. Could this be the foreshadowing of the end of the Lakers Dynasty? (Note: The Dynasty should have been over last year if it was not for the NBA rigging game 6 of the Kings series.)

MVP of the Playoffs: Tim Duncan

I was skeptical of Timmy because I haven't seen him do anything in big games. But this year he has proved me wrong. He has willed the Spurs to a 3-2 series lead against the Lakers and, hopefully, a series win. It is only fitting that the MVP of the regular season continues his magical performances in the playoffs.