Nurture Your Asperger's Child

You want to find out more about Asperger's Syndrome, which is more and more common these days. You are learning about what doctors are calling the autism spectrum, which ranges from odd-normal on the one hand to seriously impaired, especially socially, on the other. You desperately want to help your child move toward normalcy on the spectrum. Do not give up! It is quite possible that he can. You need to provide him with situations that will give him self-confidence. If you don't, the world will deal him the opposite.

Here's one key tip: if at all possible, teach your child music. People on the autism spectrum often have exceptional musical talent, even folks who have trouble speaking and learning. Perfect pitch is not particularly rare for them. This will give you child a skill to excel in, or at least to enjoy, all his life. The problem may be to find a flexible teacher who is not intimidated by your unusual student. Look for a professional music therapist, or someone with experience dealing with special needs folks. Requiring practicing every day can be built into your system of rewards for your child, a system you need to figure out. This reward system will provide an incentive for doing chores and homework. The music lessons have worked well for my brother as well as my children.

Your child probably tends to isolate himself, and may love to talk and talk about one subject. Patience! During the middle school years, your child will probably begin to be more aware that he is being rejected socially. Finally, he may be motivated to try to change his ways! Look for this developmental stage, and when it arrives, do everything you can to teach your child social acceptability.

This might include:
* Social skills groups with other Aspies taught by a professional (Speech therapists are stepping into this need; so are social workers specializing in coaching kids with learning disabilities.)
* Working with him yourself. Set aside 15 minutes a day during Homework Time to play conversation games.
* Sending him to a special-needs school that will help with this. I believe that mainstreaming the child without any support is not helpful. These children need careful coaching on how to interact with others, and protection from bullying.

Speaking of bullying, this is one of the most damaging situations for your child's feelings of self worth.
Mainstreaming may just be exposing your child to negative interactions, not positive ones. If this is necessary for your situation, see if you can volunteer at the school to be nearby, or get the school to hire a shadow for your child. Then talk to that person and tell him exactly what you want them to do: protect the child from negative interactions with peers. Our culture tolerates bullying and negative teasing, but both of those will be damaging to your child.

* Homeschooling may be another option for you. There is plenty of information on the Internet available for this.
* You may be able to find a school that controls most peer interactions. This might be a private special-needs school.

In short, there are steps you can take to protect your child's self-esteem. Be sure to take them!

Phyllis Wheeler has two children with Asperger's, one now an adult. She also has a brother with high-functioning autism. A writer, she has assembled her parenting strategies in a ebook called Nurturing Your Asperger's Child. Sign up for five free newsletters!