Why?

I will never forget that day
we were riding in our white van
the sound of mother's sad gasps filled the silent air
she sniffed and wiped her tear filled eyes as she stated "good-bye"
These were going to be her last words to you
For this was going to be your last day
Your last day with us as a family
They had come to get you
You walked slowly to the policemen
They wrapped the silver handcuffs around your thin wrists
ducking your head you sit in the back seat of a cop car
the one place,
one place I thought I’d never see you
they took you away from me
from me and those who loved you most
I have just one question
one question for you
why did you do it?
Why did you have to make that one last mistake?
That's all it took.
Just one more mistake
Now there is only silence at home
Daddy won't even speak your name
It's almost like you've been erased.
Erased from our home
And erased from our family and our lives
Your room has been re-done
Not even a trace of you is there
Your once Arizona-Orange walls are now a dark-midnight blue
The bed once big is now fairly small
The old baseball ceiling light is now a colorful rainbow fan
It looks as if you've never lived there
Your presence is no longer in our dark, cold-silenced home
The only part in which you remain
Is with me
with my mind and my thoughts
I think about you often
and I think about that last day
The weeping and the tears,
The broken hearts and trust,
Along with the hurt and confusion.
Will things ever be the same?
I've been battling my thoughts
Thoughts I shouldn't have to think
For a long two years.
Is that all it's been?
Just two years?
It seems longer than that.
But tell me, was it worth it?
The choice I made,
was it a good one?
Tell me it was
And whisper to me that everything will be okay
Tell me those words that I have longed to hear.