Academic Freedom: Excuse me, Professor

Every time I open the newspaper or surf the news I read curious statements from US Politicians about bringing democracy to the 'Third World' countries. This, of course, is in addition to the peace and freedom that they intend to generously spread. I'm sure we (I'm a Third World Person) could really do without these gifts. There's enough that we have to deal with over here - poverty and illiteracy and myriad other evils - without bearing in addition the sort of joy and contentment that is currently flourishing in Iraq and Afghanistan. Or the sort of open-mindedness that seems to be taking root in the Land of Liberty itself.

Today I read about Florida Legislators taking arms against a sea of Academic Freedom - and by opposing, no doubt, seeking to end such an anomaly. After all, you know how it goes - to think freely, perchance to understand and not blindly obey.

It seems that the Legislators can't bear to mutely witness the 'persecution' of the Conservatives on the college campuses. The 'persecution', by the way, being the mental sort, brought about by their being exposed to ideas they dislike. Some kind of action is deemed necessary to protect them from this sort of 'harassment' and so the Legislators have come up with the novel idea of coining a law that will confer on the students the supreme right to sue their Professors if they can't digest their view-point. You get it? Professor B says the Human Race evolved from Apes and the very annoyed human in the class snaps, "Okay, that's it, I'm taking you on a court outing, you pedagogical Ape!" If this could apply to Anthropology, I suppose, by logic (or the total lack of it), it could apply to all the other branches of education as well - and, BY GEORGE, where were these Legislators when I was struggling with Calculus?

Actually, this concept of allowing students to take their Professors by the shirt scruff is not a very novel one really - it had occurred before to Hitler, Stalin, and all the Great Dictators of the world and had been implemented by them too. Remember the book burning festival in the Third Reich? University Professors and School Teachers, being the purveyors of Education and thereby the upholders of the Rational Thinking Ability - not always, of course, but mainly - pose a grave danger to irrational, fundamentalist principles. These can't flourish, you know, in an atmosphere where the herd mentality is not encouraged, where all diktats are not swallowed unchallenged, but in fact lead to the flowering of a million and more questions. How can one lead a properly jaundiced existence in such a situation? So, throughout history, you will always find the Intellectuals being targeted - you shut them up, you cut off all original ideas, and soon you are the proud Governor of a flock of dumb sheep that will meekly follow your directions to the abattoir.

The originator of the non-original bill - House Bill 837 - is the Republican Representative from Ocala, Denis Baxley. I'm not sure how many years he's been out of the Education system, but he has a very good memory and an unforgiving spirit. He still has a festering sore from his first Anthropology class at the Florida State University where the Professor bluntly informed him, "Evolution is a fact. There's no missing link. I don't want to hear any talk about intelligent design and if you don't like that, there's the door."

The personal rebuff aside, Baxley was seriously angered by the Professor's 'one biased view' dictatorial attempt to 'indoctrinate the next generation' with reality based science, and this is the reason he feels 'sympatico' or in sync with the equally zany, half-baked students of today. To offer a personal view-point - he should be seeing a Therapist, not taking the cathartic option of designing and passing Feel-better Laws.

As for the students, perhaps it is necessary to pass another law specifically to explain to them before they enter the University system that the reason they are students and the Professors are Professors is because oftentimes the latter have something to impart that the former don't yet know.

If they don't want to learn anything and don't have the slightest interest in broadening their horizons, why bother going to a University at all? Why not just stay at home and keep refreshing yourself with out-dated, daft religious tracts?

It is a great big complicated world and your preconceived ideas won't always work in it. There is a lot there that you don't yet know, let alone can comprehend - agreeing or disagreeing with is even further away - and you will only make it hard on yourself and everybody else if you stick to your narrow scope and start spouting something on the civilized lines of - "Excuse me, Professor, you jes dissed me with that there new fangled idea of yours an' I ain't gonna abide with nonsense I caint understand, see, so you better retract and repent, man, and don't ya take no notion of correcting me grammar - you're in nuff legal trouble, you jerk!"

In face of such an attitude, the hapless Professors will no doubt be driven to follow in the footsteps of Socrates - oh, what the hell, let's stop asking mind-boggling questions and just swallow the hemlock.

And as for you - why, you stand every chance of developing into the exact sort of idiot that thinks the Third World really needs your brand of freedom.