NCAA Basketball: A Burning Desire for Victory

I was not surprised when I got a call from Andy, asking for a place to stay. Andy was a University of Maryland grad (a Ph.D. in large animal physiology) and a bigger Terp fan was not to be found. He always went kind of crazy during the NCAA tournament-every year was going to be Maryland's year. He frequently pushed his wife to the limits with his incessant chatter about the tournament and the way he wore his emotions on his sleeve. It was not an infrequent end to March Madness that he spent a few days on my couch. So like I said, when the phone rang on the Sunday after Maryland's defeat to Duke, I was not caught off guard, at least at first.

"Wife giving you the boot?" I asked.

"Well, sort of," he replied.

Sort of? What does that mean?

Actually, we are both looking for a place to stay, and she wants us to find separate places. She's pretty unhappy.

Why? What could have been so bad? Why is she getting out too?

I burned the place down.

You did what?!

I burned the place down.

Your house?

Yes. I burned my house down.

On purpose?

No, not on purpose! I just started a small trash fire. How was I to know that it would get out of control?

What were you thinking?

You saw the news. Kids all over campus started bonfires due to their grief over the loss.

But you're not a kid! And you're not even near the University of Maryland!

Exactly! And I don't get out to bars too much anymore. I can't go around starting bonfires around town. I'm a grown man! So I did the responsible thing by just starting a small fire in my own house. Look where responsibility gets you!

You're nuts. I guess I'm glad you weren't prowling the streets. And I guess I'm glad that a sporting event wouldn't get you to burn down your house on purpose.

Well … if we had won …