Poker: Los Angeles caught under WPT spell

At one time in my life, I was in training as an escape artist. It sounded like fun and maybe even a useful skill. My friends used to blindfold me, restrain me, throw me in boxes and all sorts of other things, and get the stopwatch out to see how long it would take me to get out (inevitably not that long). Never did I think myself a magician. Stage magic is all illusions anyway -- now, poker magic, that's another thing. Just ask "The Magician" himself, Antonio Esfandiari, who cast his spell over the Commerce Casino L.A. Poker Classic Wednesday night.

With the largest prize pool in WPT history ($3.8 million), the final table wasn't going to be smoke and mirrors. The finalists had all proven their mettle in some way or another. There was French pro David Benyamine, who was my odds-on favorite given his performance in the Grand Prix de Paris earlier this season. There was veteran Adam Schoenfeld, who hangs out with such notables as Evelyn Ng and Danny Negreanu. There was Esfandiari, with the road cone orange shirt drawing attention to him as if he didn't already have enough of it.

Amateur Mike Keohan and loudmouthed Vinny Vinh (imagine a cross between Hon Le and George Paravoliasakis from the Grand Prix de Paris, and you have Vinny Vinh) were also involved. The last participant was this week's "Kevin Walker Award" winner, Bill Gazes, who's a pro himself, but somebody I've not yet been acquainted with. In other words, it was really anybody's game.

Here's how the insanity began:

1. Antonio Esfandiari - $1,148,000 2. Vinny Vinh - $1,026,000 3. Adam Schoenfeld - $701,000 4. Bill Gazes - $452,000 5. David Benyamine - $276,000 6. Mike Keohan - $219,000

When I say insanity, I do truly mean it. In two hours of play, there were a record fourteen all-in moves, not counting just random instances of weird behavior. I was trying to watch the Padres-Expos game on ESPN2 at the same time, since my favorite player Adam Eaton was on the hill, and that was strange enough but the L.A. Poker Classic was just downright bizarre. Everybody came out swinging but only one person came out standing.

At 10 minutes off the hour mark, my prediction exploded in flames when Mike Keohan's pair of jacks sent David Benyamine home in sixth place. David's A-5 failed to outdraw Mike on a deal that went Q-K-J-A-4, giving Mike trip jacks. This should have been a sign to me that things were about to get crazy.

Eight minutes later the brakes were off. A hand was taking place and Bill was calmly walking in the background, drinking his water as if nothing was wrong. Finally, Antonio turns to him: "Bill, you do know it's to you, don't you?"

"Oh," Bill replied, honestly chagrined as he bolted back to his seat, laughing with everyone else, "I hadn't even looked [at my cards]."

Sitting at home, I pretty much spit my soda. I've never seen that Freudian slip before. This is what happens when you play poker for just shy of a week and you're sleep-deprived and wired. What made it even funnier was Bill's self-effacing attitude. I'd gladly sit at a table with him. He made it easier to take Vinny, who for a supposed poker pro couldn't even figure out if he could stand up (as everyone so often does) or leave the table to go to the restroom (obviously not while a hand was going).

Meanwhile, given that ESPN2 had basically turned into long periods of focusing the camera on Adam while he sat on the bench, thus leaving me unable to see what was going on (though I adore Adam, having to watch him worry over the outcome of the game was kind of heart-wrenching), I leaned back and watched the chips fly.

Only two short minutes into the second hour, my second pick Adam (which had nothing to do with the pitcher on the other channel, and I must be bad luck or something) was benched. His K-3 met Mike Keohan's K-3, and the deal went Q-4-3-5-4, but because Mike's suits matched up, Mike was the survivor. This wouldn't be the weirdest hand of the night, oddly enough.

Ten minutes later, it was goodbye Bill when his K-J matched up against Mike's J-9. The deal went 7-10-4-5-Q and again it was suits that made the difference. At this point, amateur Mike had terminated some talented players and was starting to make his presence known. Then again, so was Vinny, who was getting more loudmouthed by the second. He wouldn't be as bad as George's scene at the Grand Prix de Paris, but he was getting there.

(As Adam aptly said: "Poker players are annoying." Well, yes, some of them are, and Vinny is one of them.)

Mike's fairy tale came to an end, though, in a strange three-way hand. He held Q-J, but Antonio and Vinny both held K-7, the difference being Antonio's was suited. Vinny folded after Mike went all in, but the deal went 5-9-9-6-10 and the higher kicker carried the day. This left "The Magician" heads-up with the crazy man, and I knew who I wanted to win, at least. Given all that'd come before, though, I doubted that would happen. After all, my top three were all in the losers' lounge.

(Still, I thought I might have some modicum of luck, given that "L.A. Dragnet" earlier in the day had proven a brilliant showcase for the talents of my muse, actor Desmond Harrington, and that Adam had pitched pretty well over on ESPN2. So I kept my fingers crossed.)

Finally "The Magician" turned a brilliant trick. Holding A-A, or "bullets," the best hand in poker, he easily trumped Vinny's Q-4 on a deal of K-2-9-3-9. I cheered a bit, and it looked like Antonio had earned all that attention after all.

The final standings:

1. Antonio Esfandiari - $1,399,135 2. Vinny Vinh - $718,485 3. Mike Keohan - $359,245 4. Bill Gazes - $226,890 5. Adam Schoenfeld - $170,170 6. David Benyamine - $132,355

Next week is a repeat of the WPT Ladies' Night invitational table, so I get the week off, but until then, as Kevin Pollak says, it's not the size of your stack, it's how you play your chips. And sometimes, it's the completely crazy things that happen around you, too.