Sibling rivalry to sibling love

We read quite a lot of articles from time to time addressing the problem of sibling rivalry. But the question that comes to ones mind is do we need to wait for the rivalry to be aroused would it not be better that we take steps a lot earlier to stall any such feeling. This article is hence titled sibling love as we discuss ways and means to foster a beautiful relationship between the children.

The most important step is at the advent of pregnancy. Parents need to plan the birth of the second child such that there is a sufficient gap between the children so as to avoid having more than one child needing the same kind of care and attention at one time. Also, if the older child is still very young he will not be able to understand and respond to the new baby's arrival in a reasoned manner, but will tend to respond in a purely emotional negative way. Some communities like the Jewish permitted an abortion if the mother already had a child that was less than two years old. We have to remember with the advent of the second child the first child who till now received the undivided attention of the parents needs to sacrifice a lot. Many women suffer from morning sickness in the earlier part of pregnancy and in the later part they tire down so much that they find it difficult to cope up with the demands of a young child. But if the child is convinced that the whole gauntlet of affairs is carried out to secure a friend for him to play and share he would willingly take an active part in making this difficult period a little more pleasant.

After the advent of the second child the little one grabs the attention of the entire household and of the stream of visitors flocking to meet the new arrival .The mother too needs to recuperate from the trauma of child birth and needs to provide the new born her undivided attention. This phase too is very difficult for the elder child who has till then been the cynosure of the family. Here it is very important that parents pay special attention to the child and make him believe that the younger one is his prized possession, so he would swell with pride when somebody praises or loves the baby rather than writhe in jealousy. When people compliment the baby, look for ways to point out something nice about the elder child. For example, when the baby is showered with compliments of " Oh the baby is so cute." the parents can say "People used to say the same about you. " or "Now I have two beautiful children "or "Everybody seems to be liking our baby "After the statement, give the older child a hug, or a smile and a wink. A little reassurance and encouragement will go a long way.

It is equally useful to let the older child participate in looking after the younger one. This renders the mother some much-needed help, keeps the child happy as he is allowed to be with the mother and the baby at the same time. It also brings about a bonding between the two children and fosters a protective feeling for the elder one towards the baby. It is also necessary to make the child feel important for his contributions by appreciating them but at the same time parents need to guard the child from feeling that his services are utilized only to cater after the needs of the baby.

If at the initial stages an atmosphere is created where the two children become fond of one another and parents are alert and sensitive to understand the needs of their children a strong and loving relationship can develop between the two siblings. This would help in reducing to a great extent the hatred and intolerance many siblings develop for one another, later on in their teens.