Eating my depression

Yeah it's been a bad few days
Looking back it could have been worse
Sure growing up was hard
Especially on a farm
But it provided many a friend
It was just a little weird, at first, eating a friend
It was more weird telling their family
"I'm sorry, we were walking and he just slipped on an axe"
"But don't worry" rubbing my tummy "he's in a better place"
And what really sucked was hearing
"And you call us animals"
What's my point?
F'm not sure except we are trying to become more civilized
Even if it means separation from our past.
Ah well, who really cares as long as we make the best of it
And do no harm-
Whatever that means I really don't think it's possible
We harm our planet by waste and misuse
We harm ourselves in often the same way
Wasting time and efforts on non-productive or destructive patterns
I'm not here to judge- far from it
I have wasted years doing nothing but filling myself with toxins
Perhaps being bipolar, this was a way of self-medication
Fill myself to make me feel good
From animals I might have cared about
to substances most animal avoid
unless addicted or drunk that is
I am lucky I did pass along the wayside along my journey
Even blessed to be able to express myself in many ways
I say that even as my depression has been strangling me for the last week
And it's not the typical life stuff
There is so much I have accomplished and survived
I will continue to do so
It's just happens to be like a chemical haze
A toxic fog to rob any feeling of normalcy
Eventually it will pass hopefully the meds will help
Being manic-depressive, depressive any mental illness
is caused by a chemical imbalance
And I know it will be part of my cycle
So I will sit down
and eat it
Just like those friends gone bye.
DeWayne

Humor from Dysfunction
Laughter for Life
www.dewaynebenson.net