Ivan Massow: Long live Queen Camilla

A fag-smoking single mum is just what we need in our royal family. Let's have a wedding soon.

We have a new princess - a princess for the 21st century. She's not the young Disney fairy-tale princess, surrounded by tiny birds and butterflies landing on her finger; she's not even a princess of the people. There is nothing virginal about this gal - no high-walled estates have guarded her chastity or served to protect her delicate skin from the harshness of the Sun's glare. She doesn't bathe in the adoring gaze of a captivated nation with eyes that apologise for her innocent beauty, nor does she wince at the thought that her beloved husband might hurt himself on the field. There is no dashing captain coming to rescue her - our princess married a captain and was rescued by a gardener.

No long white gloves, no lonely scenes at the Taj Mahal, no fashion icon, no celebrity mother. Our fag-puffing princess wears Marigolds, mucks out horses, dresses for comfort and slaps the baked beans on the table at teatime. Hello! couldn't buy her, although she could do with the cash to mend the barn. Our princess reflects the nation. Divorced, coming to terms with disfunctionality, conservatively tolerant.

In yonder years my head would have crowned Traitors' Gate for suggesting that the king's "companion" be made queen, but recent events in the royal soap opera have changed all that. The Queen Mother's funeral has become a watershed: an unofficial referendum on the monarchy, a catalyst for reform, a reshuffle in the ranks.

The Queen Mother, scarred by the memory of 1936, was known to oppose reform. But now reform has made its way back on to the agenda, and the revival in the royal family's popularity means that the discussion will centre on how best the monarchy can adjust to the current climate.

A warm spring breeze is blowing in place of the arctic gust some royalists had feared. Charles is to take on more official duties as a "shadow king", and the palace has indicated that legislation will be introduced to reform anachronisms like the rule forbidding the succession of females or Catholics to the throne. There are no signs that the Queen will abdicate, but clearly she may shift over a bit and adopt the role taken by the Queen Mother.

Camilla's invitation to the funeral was another sign of increased acceptance of her position, and the palace is realising that the British public is mature enough to accept it. If Camilla were to become queen, she would be a very contemporary role model. Britain needs figureheads who reflect contemporary Britain. Camilla was not bombed out in the blitz or exiled from India. She is separated from the person she loves, a single parent, just a plain mum.

In modern Britain, the rules that protected family structures in the past no longer apply because we have evolved into a society that doesn't need to depend on families as mini-welfare systems or quasi-insurance polices. Divorce is a reality, and the palace must realise that the freedom to live our lives in a way that makes us happy - and change our minds rather than being shackled to the mistakes of youth - is something to be proud of. There is no longer any need to force people to remain together for morally cosmetic reasons.

Events have shown that the royals owe their popularity in large part to the fact that they are not look-at-me celebrities or power-grabbing politicians. They don't captain industry or entertain on stage (we've seen what happens to them if they try). The royal family has seen Anne, Charles and Andrew all become divorcees.

But while the Queen may wince at the unravelling of the idealised royal nuclear family, it has to be asked whether the utopianisation of the fairy-tale wedding was responsible for the misery caused to Margaret, because she was not able to follow her heart, and Diana, because she was picked as bride to a man who had already given his away. Human affection will always cross boundaries; designing rules it must adhere to will never work.

Charles and Diana were ill-suited and their relationship was destined to failure. Charles should have been allowed to marry Camilla. Diana was chosen because she met the requirements of royal protocol; she fitted some Church of England PR job specification, but ended up becoming its victim. The recent marriage of Norway's Prince Haakon to commoner and single mother Mette-Marit Tjessem Hoiby illustrates how the progressive Scandinavians are now leading the way.

Modern Britain is a place where being from a dysfunctional or "different" background does not prevent you from leading a happy, fulfilled life. It's time for another royal wedding, and my feeling is that Camilla's would give more real people real hope than any fairy-tale wedding ever could.