Looking For a Few Good Moms

By Donna Dees-Thomases with Alison Hendrie
Published by Rodale
April 2004; $23.95US/$34.95CAN; 1-57954-997-7

"Never underestimate the power of a mother!"

--Beckie Brown, former national president, Mothers Against Drunk Driving

In the summer of 1999, Donna Dees-Thomases was busy juggling the demands of two young children and a TV job promoting comedy gags. But one day she learned about a shooting, and in the space of just a few hours, everything in Donna's life changed . . .

She decided to round up mothers -- a group even more formidable than the gun lobby -- to show Congress that mothers care about the gun-violence epidemic in America. She called her as-yet-unborn movement the Million Mom March, even though she was, at the time, launching a revolution of one. In an astonishingly short 9 months, on Mother's Day 2000, Donna fulfilled her mission -- and made history -- when she was joined by nearly a million other mothers, fathers, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends who were determined to let our government know that the time for enacting sensible gun laws is now. Not even the great marches of the Civil Rights movement drew as many people as the Million Mom March.

How did one mother get the attention of our government -- and the world? Looking for a Few Good Moms shows how we all can make a difference if we are willing to take a stand.

If she could gather a million moms just think about what you could do . . .

"When I first became incensed over kids being killed with guns in America, I wanted to march on Washington to protest the insanity -- even if I had to organize the march myself. But I was clueless as to how to make that happen.

"Without a guidebook to walk me through the mechanics, the logistics, and the politics of such an overwhelming journey, I kept getting lost. Thankfully, every time I was ready to quit and call the moving van, some extraordinary woman would appear and do for me what good mothers do for their kids . . .

"I worked with dogged mothers who refused to take no for an answer; passionate mothers who were determined to protect their children; heartbroken mothers who had lost children to gun violence and who would not rest until there were laws in place to see that other mothers did not suffer what they had. Ordinary mothers: legions of good women who knew how to make a revolution happen . . ."

--Donna Dees-Thomases, founder of the Million Mom March

Authors

Donna Dees-Thomases is a public relations consultant who lectures frequently on grassroots organizing. Currently she is a consultant for the Million Mom March United with the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, which organized the second Million Mom March on Washington, held on Mother's Day 2004. She lives in New York City with her two daughters. This is her first book.

Alison Hendrie is a writer whose feature stories and essays have appeared in the New York Times and the New York Post, as well as Parents, Parenting, Fitness, and other national magazines. She lives with her husband and four children in Croton-on-Hudson, New York.

Reviews

"This book is a life lesson in how the indignation of one person can give voice to a movement. Donna Dees-Thomases' decision to take on the gun lobby evolved from a simple notion -- sometimes a mother's got to do what a mother's got to do. She reminds us that with determination, tenacity, and 'a few good moms,' anything is possible."

--Meredith Vieira, moderator of ABC's The View


"As engaging and straight-ahead as the woman herself, Donna Dees-Thomases' Looking for a Few Good Moms is an inspiring depiction of our power to change America for the better. This is a must-read for anyone who wonders why we lose so many of us to guns, and how to stem this tragic tide of violence."

--Richard North Patterson, best-selling author of Balance of Power

Excerpt

The following is an excerpt from the book Looking For a Few Good Moms

by Donna Dees-Thomases with Alison Hendrie

Published by Rodale; April 2004; $23.95US/$34.95CAN; 1-57954-997-7

Copyright © 2004 Donna Dees-Thomases

Even though the march was on track, time seemed to be running in short supply; there just weren't enough hours in the day to take care of everything that needed to be done, and as march day drew near, I was stretched even further with more and more requests to do interviews and make speeches. I would usually just write up some thoughts and hope for the best. But I was slated to speak at the Conference of Mayors, and this gave me a terrible case of public-speaking panic. I was also -- on the same day -- slated to appear on Good Morning America, and this would be the MMM's debut on this show. Even though I dreaded live TV, there wasn't much I had to prepare for. I had my four or five key bullet points down cold, and I was getting pretty adept at getting these points out, no matter how little time I had. It was a trick I had learned from watching my old boss, Senator Long, in action. The GMA interview would be over in 4 minutes, tops. But the Conference of Mayors was expecting a lot more from me than a few minutes and a handful of sound bites.

It was now 2 A.M. I was supposed to be up and out by 6 A.M. to get to the ABC studios. From there I'd have to get to Atlantic City by 9 A.M. for the conference. So much for getting some sleep, let alone having a speech prepared. It wasn't looking good.

I sat at my computer trying -- but failing -- to put together a coherent speech.

I was exhausted from the kids, depressed about the state of my marriage, and overwhelmed by the details of the Million Mom March. I couldn't think of anything remotely inspirational to say.

I stared at the computer for about an hour, thinking that maybe if I just looked at it hard enough, the words would suddenly appear. When that didn't work, I procrastinated by praying and saying, "Please, please, somebody help me," while I pulled out my hair. It must have worked, because an e-mail popped up from a man from Virginia named Bill Jenkins, who is the author of a book called What to Do When the Police Leave: A Guide to the First Days of Traumatic Loss.

Once I read Bill's letter, I knew what I would say at the Conference of Mayors. I printed his letter, put it in my bag, and went to bed that night with a sense of peace and readiness. I don't remember much about the GMA interview, but I do remember the mayors. I read Bill's letter to them. It was the first time in my life I was given a standing ovation.

Dear Donna:

I am a college professor and an unwilling expert on the effects of firearms on our society. Two and a half years ago, I benignly believed the gun lobby's lines, and why not? I grew up in a house with hunting guns and learned how to shoot. My rural family members hunt regularly, and my brother is a competition shooter in his spare time. I naively thought that was the extent of the interaction with guns in my life.

Then, my 16-year-old son was murdered -- while he was working at his new job at a fast-food restaurant -- by a man with a handgun, during a robbery. I began researching the instrument of his destruction and tore back the cardboard facades and specious claims of the gun industry. I looked closely at the economics and marketing practices of an industry that has enjoyed enormous protection throughout its history. My conclusions shocked and sickened me.

With 250 million guns in society today, more than I million hand- guns alone are placed in circulation every year for a legitimate market of merely 60 to 65 million private gun owners. Hundreds of gun laws have been cobbled together by various localities in a desperate effort to protect themselves, yet these are often trumped by state laws where lobbying efforts are more focused and well-financed. Indeed, no concerted legislative action has ever been allowed to adversely affect the industry's bottom line directly. Instead, attention is diverted to post sale issues of possession and use. I see a silent and insidious third party to the issue, the one who built the fence between the vocal factions and those whose primary goal is to keep the argument raging for their own economic benefit. I see an industry that has allowed itself to be seduced by the easy money of a burgeoning illegitimate market. It resists voluntarily marketing products ethically and responsibly, incorporating sensible safety measures, establishing specific training requirements for buyers, and even guaranteeing that the purchaser of these products will he the end user.

A brief history is in order. In the 1970s and 1980s, facing a rapidly saturating market and foreign competition, the gun industry seems to have reinvented itself. It doesn't require much effort to observe the following unethical, yet profitable practices: It began marketing military and police-style weapons to private citizens, firearms which are not for defense, nor sport, but are for attack and urban warfare. It began following the market trends of the illegitimate market, incorporating features that appeal to the criminal user. It began capitalizing on a growing attitude of uneasiness and paranoia in society, supplying a false and dangerous hope for protection from people using their products, effectively profiting from both sides at once. And it began manufacturing product far beyond any reasonable ability to sell it to the limited legitimate market. Make no mistake, this small group of people has benefited greatly and has blatantly used their profits to perpetuate their commercial and legal protection.

Who has suffered? The sportsmen and sportswoman have suffered as the reputation of something they have dearly loved and enjoyed has been ruined by irresponsible marketing, sales, and use. The police have suffered, having been shot at and ambushed by those with more firepower than any officer has ever carried. Families have suffered as children find a gun and kill unwittingly, or guns bought ostensibly for protection are turned on another family member or self. Society has suffered as ready access to a limitless supply of disposable guns enables and emboldens criminals. Our state legislatures have suffered as rural interests are pitted against urban interests by manipulating lobbyists. The gun industry has truly soiled its own nest. Sadly, it is our nest also.

Despite claims to the contrary, our children are not being sacrificed on the altar of personal freedom and protection. Our children are not being sacrificed on the altar of constitutional rights. Our children are not being sacrificed on the altar of patriotic, democratic, and lifestyle values. Our children are not being sacrificed on the altar of any ideology whatsoever. No, our children are being sacrificed on an altar dedicated to nothing more than base profit and commerce. And that I will not excuse.

In 1997, my son was one of more than 20 homicide victims in our county in Virginia. He was one of 115 Virginia children and teens who die from firearm use and misuse. He was one of 902 Virginians of all ages who, met their end at the barrel of a gun. And one of the 32,436 Americans who died with a bullet in them that year.

From 1990 to today, more than 9,700 people in Virginia and more than 343,000 people nationwide have been killed with firearms. And for every firearm-related mortality, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates another three people have received nonfatal injuries.

Want to have some more fun with numbers? Let's say that each of those fatalities in the past 10 years has between five and six close family members or intimate friends in their lives, and that is a low estimate, That is nearly 2 million grieving parents, siblings, grandparents, children, spouses, and best friends, and I am one of them, and perhaps some of you are, too.

There are two ways to hunt. In one, the hunter takes time to learn of the quarry and its habits and life, The hunter enters the forest alone and tracks the quarry for hours or even days, hoping for a clear shot. This is how the gun industry has been fought in the past. Dedicated lawyers and lobbyists who have learned its every move have been fighting one-on-one. Sometimes they have gotten clear shots and scored minor victories.

But there is another way to hunt, and while less elegant, it is far more effective. The entire village enters the forest. Not highly trained, just willing participants. They beat the brush, driving the quarry to open ground, and surround it, and the hunt is over.

On Mother's Day, the village enters the forest.

The Million Mom March will succeed through honest education of the facts, unflagging determination, and a sincere desire to bring about change. I believe and lay my hopes on this. And if the Million Mom March is not successful this year, next year perhaps the 2 Million Mom March will be, and the next year, perhaps the 3 Million Mom March will be. For this is an effort that will not easily be turned aside.

We have the right to demand action. We have a right to demand safety. And above all, we have a right to demand peace. I am in awe of the success of your determined efforts to make these demands known. I appreciate it more than you could ever know. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Bill Jenkins,

The Million Mom March -- Virginia

Thank me? No. Thank you, Bill. Bill Jenkins went on to enlist other Virginians to charge into "the forest" of Washington, D.C., on Mother's Day 2000. He later married a Million Mom Marcher from Illinois, and they both live there now.

Copyright © 2004 Donna Dees-Thomases

For more information, please visit www.millionmommarch.com or www.writtenvoices.com