YOUTH SPORTS: Is violence out of control?

I am sure that you know about the fatal beating of a youth ice hockey coach in Massachusetts by an irate father and the assault of a youth baseball umpire by a coach in Florida. The first reaction, most likely, is to speculate about the seriousness at which adults hold the sporting activities of children. The hockey death involved 10-year-old players.

Assaults and shootings are not all that unusual in the field of kid¹s games. Parents who run off with the organization's treasury have also become routine matters.

Violence like this is common on our city streets and in the back alleys. However, similar ugly events have been occurring all around us during the past 10 years in schools, in restaurants, on freeways, in the air, and in the workplace. We certainly must have our collective heads in the sand if we fail to see that no place is safe from violence, including the home where domestic abuse goes on behind closed doors. Somehow though, kids and sports seems to make the headlines only when it involves unruly behavior. Good news is not news.

Teachers have had to deal with unruly parents and their kids for decades. Students now get the teachers in trouble so easily that teaching and learning take a back seat to quieting unruly parents who think their kids can do no wrong. Then there are the students themselves who are just downright nasty and cruel to their peers.

What prompts such uncivil behavior. Have we not learned the do's and don'ts from our parents and teachers? Are we so on the edge of sanity that otherwise normal people, kids and adults, just lose all rational thought? Is family, work, school or recreation too stressful? Is our fuse that short? What is going on?

I believe the fault, if it is to be assigned, goes to the parents. Through apathy or ignorance, it has become acceptable to let our kids grow up without restraints. In the absence of guidance, they seem to have no manners, no self-control, and no shame. Maybe we can use a heavy duty dose of grandparenting to make up for the effects of poor parenting and the absence of parenting.

Maybe we have seriously underestimated the power of the media. If Joe Camel can cause kids to start smoking, then violence in the movies, violence on television, and violence in the compute games can certainly cause kids to become aggressive bullies. This assumes, of course, the absence of parental guidance.

What can be done to reduce or eliminate this violent behavior. For starters, maybe we can come to grips with the idea that all kids are not alike, that kids are not like adults.

Maybe we can come to an understanding about the purposes of youth sport. Fun comes to mind first of all. Learning new sport skills is good too but then they need to get to play in order for that to be accomplished.
Maybe youth leaders could help their coaches, parents and umpires understand that the games are for the education and entertainment of the kids. There is an enormous amount of help right now, if they will take advantage of it. [See the NAYSI On-Line Course for coaches and parents at www.NAYSI.com. It is free.]

Maybe the big time sports reporters can stop saying things like: The fans paid their money. They have the right to boo and say all the nasty things they wish. The reports indicate far too many parents accept this axiom when they watch their kids play.

Maybe we can come to realize that it is just as difficult to mix the poorly skilled players with the well skilled on the field and court as it is to mix poor readers with good readers in the classroom.

Maybe we can come to realize that there is more than one way to run sport programs for kids. Miniaturizing what is shown on television is not the only way to operate a program for youth.

Maybe the highly visible Revenue Sports figures can devote some time getting across the idea that children and teenagers do not need to play their games in the pressure cooker of premature adult expectations. Can we not just let them play, learn some new skills, have fun and grow up at a leisurely pace.

My dad, a lifetime player and sportsman, always said: "It is a good life if you do not weaken." Weakening, I took to mean, giving in to animal instincts or giving up. These current events associated with kids could be signs that we are weakening.

If we continue on our present course, I believe that there will be less and less distinction between the world of kids and the world of adults. It is clear to me from the current events that we really need to get a grip on our collective selves and shape up. I do not even want to dwell on the consequences if we are unable to manage our own behavior in public and private places. Does survival of the fittest come to mind?

NAYSInote: Jack Hutslar, founder of the North American Youth Sport Institute in 1979, has coached and taught boys and girls from ages six through college. See www.NAYSI.com for more information about kids and sports. Keep it fun . . . Jack