Anna Nicole Part 2

The second season of The Anna Nicole Show premiered this week and the first episode included Anna Nicole’s search for love with the help of Paul Hogan, Joe Millionaire’s number one butler. Anna Nicole’s same seductive child-on-crack behavior prevails this season. She returns with lawyer Howard K. Stern (who is back sporting a goatee and a seriously bad hairdo), her devotee Kimmie, son Daniel, Sugar Pie and promises that this season will be as wacky as last season, if not more so.

The season opener was a spoof on the recent reality TV shows The Bachelorette, Meet My Folks, and even Joe Millionaire. Her trusty sidekick lawyer Howard K. Stern was on hand to interview a group of guys. He narrowed the group down to five lucky bachelors who then did various feats to impress the oversized Smith. A foot massage here, a house cleaning there, and a serenade were among the things the bachelors did to win the heart of Smith. Later, Stern put them through the lie detector test, which included the questions "Have you ever masturbated to a picture of Anna Nicole?" and "Do you think I [Stern] am an a--hole?"

Anna narrowed the field to three after giving Survivor contestant Mitchell Olson too short for her despite that fact that he measures up at seven-foot-some inches. Next to go was Frank Miniaci, an independent producer. Narrowed down to three, each man got a chance to prove himself to Anna. Adult industry salesman Jeff Hawkins got kicked to the curb after some really bad poetry. The Bachelorette’s bitter horse lover Brook Pemberton actually had a chance at the pickle, but stuck his foot in his mouth by calling Anna "Trista." Once a loser always a loser may just be the case. And the winner is Mark Norris, a divorced father of two from Baltimore, Maryland. What did he win? A pickle, a kiss, and a dance with Anna. And maybe a little celebrity nooky.