God, holy water and animal planet

Warning. Discretionary Content. This article may contain material that is either inappropriate or offensive to some audiences.

In 1962 I was born bi-polar, bald and gay
I still look the same today
Sure, I’d love to be co-dependent again.
But I don’t even want to be me my friend
I also have my conjoined twin
He’s attached to my stomach from within
Everything I eat goes to him.
At 42 I am happy to finally look my age
Although going bald in your teens can be quite the rage
And I knew I just had to have a go at the girls
Just to prove they didn’t rock my world
But it was a nude male that first made my toes curl.
And it was hard growing up on a South Dakota dairy farm
Dad would milk the bull, but what’s the harm?.
I’d milk the cows, separate the cream, make butter and more
Hey, Don’t they sell all this shit in the store?
Maybe then I could sleep in past 4
My sister was a Schitzophrenic bitch
Great now there’s another tribe out to destroy my bliss
"you are a little sissy fag with no sense of style" they would hiss
A sissy-fag with no style, man ain’t that the shits
And a brother who was mean and clean you see
He would have the blood cleaned up in a heart beat
All little brothers should die in their sleep
And Dad really really loved his booze
With a full bar under the kitchen sink we couldn’t loose
Then one day he yelled "get your asses down here kids"
We could tell he was angry we could tell he was pissed
Now I know you been drinking , and what I want to know is this
Why is there water in every quart, half-gallon a fifth.
Either stop drinking or stop putting the water in it.
By now Mom had run away to the Florida shores
With an older man she used to babysit for
She left three kids he left even more.
I didn’t need her, that bitch that whore
Yet sometimes life brings some joy
Christmas, eggnog , and the occasional toy
But never from the list Santa I am so annoyed

But I still loved Christmas time
Looking forward to socks and underwear so white and so mine
Because I never had to model them saying they’ll be just fine
Because incest was the only bad habit we didn’t pass down the bloodline.
Our house had no rules, just a TV and lots of booze
A great combination that just couldn’t loose
We lacked nothing having more than plenty of food
And no parents around to give us the blues, or the news
That they want us to make a cocktail and that they love us too
But We lived and loved, learned and grew
It sucks being raised in a dysfunctional home is so true
Until you hear
"You picked your parents before you are born, not God but You
Oh to let an unborn choose is either a joke or just down-right rude.
So God has to be a Joker must only be the truth
Because can you hear me say
Give me a bald fat alcoholic passed out on the barstool for my dad, OK
Along with his red headed slut wife who is dancing with my step dad in the hallway
I want them for my parents they are the best I see at hand
I didn’t know shit, ok God is this part of your plan
So you can’t blame me for walking with dysfunction hand in hand
If I picked my parents then I want to pick again.
I was also born bi-polar and that is a fact
So is that their fault or from God’s hand
Or just because I was planned
But I think it’s even out of God’s’ hands
He made it, set it and now back, way back he stands
He has put it all on auto-pilot and now he’s on the Q T.
Watching us like we watch TV,
but on a universal widescreen
His cable bill must be obscene.
And he doesn’t even mind the commercial thing
Because it takes a lot of money to make an addicted whore
have that sincere ring
Or maybe it’s mostly reruns, damned TV
Or like me he loves a good comedy
But I’m sure he loves human spontaneity
Lunacy, idiocy, sexuality, creativity, honesty, debauchery
And everything else it is to be a human being
While he kicks back and enjoy communion chips, the mini’s
Drinking holy water and watching the animal planet laughing
God’s joking, I am a punch line and the whole world is a comedy.