General: The cell phone overuse epidemic

Well, sports fans, it has happened.

The cell phone overuse virus has spread from our movie theaters, shopping malls and restaurants, to our arenas, stadiums and golf courses, and I, for one, can not stand for it any longer.

The outbreak of the cell phone overuse virus must be contained.

Those of us who play golf on a regular basis run into the cell phone overuse virus on a regular basis.

There is nothing more annoying on the golf course than standing over a shot and hearing a cell phone go off.

Everybody at one time or another has had to go Davis Love on some guy because of a cell phone interruption.

The use of cell phones on the golf course is also one of the biggest causes of slow play.

Unfortunately, the virus also spread rapidly to other areas of the sports environment.

Recently, while attending a spring training game in Fort Myers, Florida, I was disturbed by a person infected with this virus like never before.

I was enjoying myself through the first couple innings, watching Pedro Martinez pitch against the Minnesota Twins, when the guy behind me began talking on his cell phone.

I am going to guess, based on some of the conversation, that he was talking to his wife or girlfriend.

Apparently he needed to "check in."

He proceeded to spend the next two innings conversing in meaningless banter while the rest of us were forced to listen instead of focusing on the game.

This is the cell phone overuse virus at its furthest stage, and, unfortunately, this was not an isolated incident.

No more than one inning later, the person called this buy back.

The way I see it, the cell phone overuse virus has three strains:

1. The people who try and work and play at the same time. 2. The people who still think cell phones are cool. 3. The people who feel they need to "check in" with their spouse, girlfriend, boyfriend, etc. constantly.

Everybody knows someone infected with one or more of these strains.

We're friends with them, we work with them, they are in our families. It is an epidemic that in some way touches the lives of everybody.

As difficult as it is to avoid people infected with one of these strains of the virus, there are a few symptoms they possess that can send warning signs to the uninfected.

1. Avoid anybody who has their cell phone attached to any part of their belt. This is a major sign that a person may be infected with strain number one. Also, if they're wearing a shirt with their company logo on the front, run for your life.

2. Avoid anybody who has "In The Club" by Fifty Cent or any other downloaded song as their ringer. This person almost certainly is infected with strain number two.

3. Avoid anybody who is wearing clothing that is totally unrelated to any of the participants in the event you are trying to see. People dressed neutrally may be there for reasons unrelated to being a fan. This may signal the presence of a person infected with any of the three strands.

The main reason this virus has spread as fast as it has into our sports arenas, stadiums, and golf courses, is that nothing has been done in an effort to sterilize the problem.

This outbreak could be treated very easily if the arenas, stadiums, and golf courses would make an effort to quarantine the infected people in attendance.

Here are a few suggestions on how to implement a cell phone overuse virus vaccination process.

Golf courses need to ban all cell phones from the course.

They are disturbing and slow down play considerably.

At private clubs this may be a little harder since the members have the ultimate say in club rules, but for public courses a rule should be in place.

I would even support a USGA (United States Golf Association) implemented rule banning cell phones from all play, not just tournaments.

Arenas and stadiums need to provide a designated area for cell phone use and only allow phone conversations to take place in that area.

If you have to make it the responsibility of the ushers to remove people who talk on their phones in the stands that's fine with me.

It's not like ushers doing anything else during the game.

While I know there will be people infected with the virus who are not going abide by these rules.

The rules would be a significant step in the right direction, and something must be done.

The cell phone over use virus must be contained.