5 Secrets of a Successful Marriage

Towards whispering ‘I Do’
Every society recognizes marriage through different mannerisms. Some actually preach both spouses to give up the idea if it doesn’t live up to their expectations. Though this rare, except in cases of the olden days where polygamy was rampant. Although we all believe that love is the essence of a great marriage; its very foundation, its also true that there are some 5 generic rules that apply to any marriage, despite geographical and cultural differences.

Rule Number 1: For the initial process; allow the ‘EGO’ to grow:
Though many might not out rightly agree with me as far as this rule goes, but it actually holds true! Because we are humans and tend to stereotype roles as soon as we imbibe them, its interesting to note that the world over there is the universal problem of ‘Men and their ever existing Egos’ to exist! As a human tendency, women tend to resist and battle these out, in what they know as letting out steam! What you really need to do is (I know its easier said than done!) simply keep quiet, coz in the fit of anger that a man is so proud of, he would neither hear you out nor would he ever understand the depth of your advice. As profound as it may sound, its good to practice non-violence in this stage, thereby allowing his ego to grow!

Rule Number 2: Make it a habit to write and jot down everything!
As ridiculous as it may sound, even the most precise man in this world makes mistakes! Remember school, when your teacher would insist that all math equations needed practice, and that practice would only be sufficient when they would be written down. Actually we all go through (what seemed at the time!) the torturous routine of mundane school life, what we forget is the habit of jotting things down. Writing things is a good habit that improves a lot many things in life. First it makes you understand what you’ve written thanks to the continuous flow of words on paper, in this computer dominated life style! Secondly it makes your brain more sharp, thereby making you less prone to the usual mistakes that drive couples into petty arguments! A sort of an mental-visual exercise! Furthermore, it also makes you in a certain manner more disciplined and at peace with yourself to make major decisions that would ultimately make life easy. What’s even better is that when you note the finer nuances of whatever took place at the time, it will be easy to put up a great fight when you’ve armed yourselves with the exact situation, if the need for a battle should arrive!

Rule Number 3: Spend less of the excess time at hand in each other’s company
When we speak of ‘quality time’ we normally interpret it as good times spent with each other. What we really need to remember is that the normal life is spent in pursuing aspirations an ambition gives us lesser time to face each other and more time after the accomplishment of each goal, when you really need to take time off!! That’s what really means ‘quality time’. This time you can spend in just about anything, from bringing up the kids to reading to learning a new skill, to exercising, after all more often than not women tend to lose track of their waistlines, making room for another emotion that we are so proud of; jealousy. It is no wonder why men tend to ‘appreciate’ other women and their vital stats!

Rule Number 4: Appreciate and laugh a lot!
Men are turned on by women who can appreciate and laugh at themselves, as they consider women to be the forever lot of conniving sex! Well, I, for one do not think so, its just that I have seen most men think of it to be like this which sadly makes me quote this fact. There are, besides other benefits, two distinct advantages of this. One, it makes you a great sport, making you aware of your flaws and allowing you to improve upon them and two, it makes you more cheerful. Believe it or not laughing at yourself also adds a new dimension in your spouse’s eyes! Now isn’t that what we all hope for?

Rule number 5: Use Diplomacy to the maximum!
We spoke of allowing the ego grow, at this point of time it is also important to note that there are many times in life that a woman just cannot identify the ‘right’ path, despite all the knowledge that she has imbibed so far! This is largely because she is, for a large part of her life; a woman’s life is dominated by the imbalance of her hormones! So much so that at times she doesn’t even know why she feels the way she does!! At times like these, when you just cannot control the ire that has only just reached at your mouth’s gateway or has just twitched the finger of your right hand, and is compelling you to raise it!…… It is at these times that you need to use diplomacy. As hard as it may be to control one’s anger, especially for a woman who is ultimately the deciding factor of her marriage’s success!! Most society’s only teach you the fact that marriage is forever, ‘until death do us part!’ but few of them give you the feelers of how it needs to be carried out in making your marriage a success!!