To Janae

I’m sitting here thinking of you
Why Did you leave me for him…
When you knew we were perfect for each other?

I start to wonder if it’s really all true
I loved you with everything I had,
I can never love another!

But u left me anyway,
Knowing I loved you so
Your hate towards me
Made dark thoughts in my mind grow

It started out simple
Just cutting once or twice
But every time I see you in his arms
I would turn to my bloody knife

I remember how great it was to tell you I love you
And you saying it right back
But right now, love towards me
Is a feeling that you lack

So I keep cutting deeper
Wishing that this heartache would soon stop
But every time I see him hold you
I just keep cutting till I drop

What happened? You loved me!
Why did you leave me broken?
I still need to tell you how much I love you
And so many other things…still unspoken…

But whatever. I don’t care…
Because I see that you’re glad…
And baby, that’s all that matters to me
Even if it makes me sad…

So today I’m done with cutting,
It’s just not relieving the pain
I know when I cut I feel better
But really, there’s just loss…no gain

Its time to end it here
I’m just tired of this f****d up life
I go to my room, lock the door,
And for the last time ...I grab the knife…

I slit my wrists really deep
And watch the blood rush out,
I start feeling really dizzy…
I know its time… there’s no doubt…

I want to leave faster...
From my problems I want to run…
So with my trembling bleeding hands…
I turn to my gun…

I put it close to my head...
Baby...don’t tell me you love me now
I know what I’m doing is right…
I don’t know why...don’t know how...

I put my finger on the trigger
All it takes is one little squeeze
Here goes, I pull it now
My life is slipping away with such ease..

Now I’m going…
To an eternal sleep
I want u to no
You cut me real deep

And since now I’m gone
I just want you to no
Baby no matter where I am, dead or alive…
My love for you will forever grow…