Cheltenham Festival - Live!

2.00: Jewson Novices' handicap Chase (2m 5f)

THE RACE

They're off! Bizet off like bat out of hell, closely followed by Le passing and Sir OJ travelling like, I dunno,furious lapdogs of Satan ... over the fith, it's Kind Harald leading from St Matthew ... Captain Corelli and Quazar lurking at the back ... As they approach the first of the open dithces, King Harald goes over first ... terrible mistake by Joes Edge though, who miread the jump woefully and looks like being pulled up. Sonevafushi looking strong up front too ...

Chaos at the next fence as three horses tumble. King Harald continues to lead, with Lacdoudal pressurises him in second ... See you Sometime is third and Sir OJ is in hot pursuit in fourth ...

King Harald almost fallas at the last but Matthew Batchelor does brilliantly to keep him on course and power past the post in first place! Lacdoudal follows in second. Third goes to See You Sometime. Sir OJ takes fourth.

First: King Harald (9/1), Second: Lacdoudal (12-1) Third See You SomeTime (12-1). Fourth Sir OJ (18-1)

b.1.59pm Joes Edge now favourite at 8-1, as captain Corelli shuffles out to 9s. lacdoudal come in from 14-1 to 11s.

1.57pm Timmy Murphy's Captain Corelli is still outright favourite at 8-1, and we now have a clear second favourite too: Joes Edge at 9s. Bizet's made a late surge too, coming in to 11-1. I've been asked to mention Paul Carberry's Sir OJ, who optimistic Sam Henderson has put his faith and money in: well Sam, you hoss is trotting up to the post now, at 18-1.

1.50 Quazar's come in to 14-1 (but I got fixed odds at 16!). Ruby Walsh's mount, Le Passing, who some dishevelled half-wit in the bookies was trying to persuade me to back, remains marrooned on 20-1. Remember folks, if a man is covered in bruises, scabbily dressed and reeks of whiskey and beetroot, chances are he's good fun but knows absolutely nothing about making money. Unless he's Lemmy, of course.

1.47pm Market movers aplenty! Liverpool Echo (the choice of ace tipster Ron Cox in today's 60p Guardian) has drifted out 11-1, while the new jolly is Captain Corelli at 8s. Lots of support too for Jose Edge and King Harald (both 10s)

1.35 The first race today is at 2.00: the Jewson Novices' Handicap Chase. It'll feature 20 runners and no one has much of a clue as to who'll win it. Liverpool Echo's 8-1 favourite, but, for what its worth, I stuck my hardly-earned lolly on Quazar, who's come on from 20s to 16-1. The reason I plumped for him is becausehe's Tony McCoy's mount, and if AP doesn't ride a winner soon I reckon he'll implode.

Preamble

First things first: amid all the hype and hoohaa about the this festival lark, it seems to have escaped some people's attention that Cheltenham is about more than just horses. For proof, check out the web site of Cheltenham Borrough Council .... OK, don't bother, I'll just copy the highlight here: "The project to save Cheltenham's spa has found something better than oil or gold - a supply of pure spa water that can be restored to the Pittville Pump Room." Hmmn. Let's talk about nags, baby.