Famous Art Heists

The history of Art Theft, according to one art expert, goes back over 4000 years. It began, I think, right after humankind began producing art - those who could did, those who couldn't did the deed. And then it became one of those accepted things of human existence - like War. Actually, War and Art Theft pretty much went hand in hand. Whenever you attacked someone else and invaded their country, you liberally helped yourself to all the wonderful things they had. You didn't ponder too much over the ethics of it - after all you knew you would be on the receiving end of the same dessert if it were the other way around. Besides the loot on display augmented the sight of all those prisoners in chains during the victory parade back home. It made you a hero. Sometimes it made you plan the next attack just for the loot.

So it continued and still continues, as we saw with the recent looting of the Baghdad Museum. Nowadays though the victory parade is a private affair, because, in these modern times, far from a shower of rose petals you're more likely to get drowned in a spate of mass condemnation - and even if it is pretty much ineffective, given that you're the mightiest gun around, the lack of overwhelming public applause does kind of niggle somewhere. It's not that the public has become more civilized, just brain-washed. No longer is it kosher to buy that rationale of everything being fair in war and love. These days we not only don't admire the heroes, we actually ask for the looted stuff to be duly returned. This practice started after the Second World War when the Jewish survivors asked for their stolen Art Collections to be returned to them. Given their recent suffering and the fact that the Allies weren't themselves very fond of their vanquished foes, the return of Art Treasures, a practically unknown phenomenon until then, now assumed righteous proportions.

Since finders (or takers) keepers is no longer an accepted philosophy, life has become somewhat creative for the small-scale (small scale compared to the mass scale, I mean) thieving fraternity. If they are to depart with something they fancy, they have to think of inventive ways first to acquire it and then to hawk it without the police or other nosey personalities spiking the whole endeavor. It hasn't helped either that many museums have updated their security, installing things like motion detectors, body-heat sensors, bulletproof glass, etc. No longer is Art Theft a refined craft of niminy-piminy alarm evasion, but more and more a matter of going in with all the guns blazing. Oh, well, who said these modern times were easy?

Some famous art heists that happened despite the overwhelming odds :

Madonna with the Yarn-winder : This is a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci that was stolen from Drumlanrig Castle in Scotland in August 2003. The owner, the Duke of Buccleuch, whether from a desire to show off or from reason of weak memory, thought it necessary to stick a 'Leonardo Da Vinci' name label to the picture frame. This made it easy for the thieves to decide what they wanted. They came on a public tour , over-powered the guide, and then carried it away. The painting is estimated at between £25 and £50m. Since the substantial reward for its return is substantially less than this amount, it hasn't been returned.

Portrait of the Duke of Wellington : This painting by Francesco Goya was taken from the National Gallery in London in 1961. A certain Kempton Bunton tried to claim credit for the theft and even obligingly spent three months in jail. He was unemployed and probably thought the State owed him some hospitality. The real thief, a sensitive type, didn't try to steal his limelight. We don't know who it was, but it wasn't Dr. No.

Portrait Of A Young Gentleman : A painting by Raphael that vanished without trace from Krakow in more gentler times - in 1940, during the Second World War.

The Scream : Edvard Munch painted four versions of 'The Scream' and one or another version always keeps getting stolen from the Oslo Museum. I've lost count of when and how. I know all paintings need airing from time to time, but this really is too much.

45 Paintings from Russborough House : The stately Russborough House in Ireland has always been an open house for art thieves - it has the distinction of being the most burgled property in Art History. People steal what they want, return it several years later, and take away something else. 45 paintings have gone from here between 1975 and 2002.

The Paraguayan National Fine Arts Museum Heist : This ranks very high amongst my very personal favorite heists. The National Fine Arts Museum in Asuncion, Paraguay, was hosting the most valuable art exhibition in its entire history in 2002, and of course the thieves weren't going to fail to show up. Two months prior to the exhibition, they rented a shop across from the Museum and got busy digging an 80-foot connecting tunnel. Then, on the great night, they walked over and helped themselves to £500,000 worth of art.

The Isabella Gardner Museum Heist : This museum in Boston had a rich treasure trove of Vermeers, Rembrandts, Manets, and other worthies and was relieved of them in 1990. The thieves dressed up as Police Officers, knocked on the door in the early hours of the morning, and were let in by the Security. The latter were then hand-cuffed to the museum railings to keep them out of the way while artwork worth $300 million was carted away. Again, with an unrealistic return reward of $5 million, nobody's returning anything.

The Stockholm National Museum Heist : This Millennium heist was probably inspired by the Minimalists - the thieves walked into the Museum at peak hour, simply took down the frames they wanted, and then carried them out. They had a good taste too - a Rembrandt and two Renoirs.

The Van Gogh Museum Heist : This 1991 theft was a very modern heist that took place with masks and guns in the proper places. It also highlighted the futility of modern existence - the sheer pointlessness of modern endeavors. The twenty paintings that were taken were found in the abandoned getaway car scarcely an hour later. The paintings, by the way, were worth at least $10m each. Another aspect of modern existence underlined- we're not all in it for the money.

In parting, I'm not going to mention the Mona Lisa, since I personally wouldn't steal this manly-looking wench and see no reason to applaud those who tried.